But physical exertion didn’t dim her agitation.
What was she going to do?
Noah expected her to stay another week or two, but eventually he’d leave her without a backward glance.
Ilsa couldn’t handle that. Already she was wretched, anticipating their separation. Staying would only make things worse.
Already she could barely hide her feelings and she refused to reveal them, only to evoke Noah’s pity. Every hour they were together intensified her feelings and made it harder to face life without him. Better to make a clean break now than wait for Noah to tire of her.
She had been rejected first by the man she’d fallen for, because he couldn’t be bothered waiting for her. Put aside as the royal heir, despite a lifetime’s dedication and hard work. Palmed off to not one but two men who’d agreed to marry her only for the sake of their country, not because they’d wantedher.
Ilsa might have instigated the break with Lucien but he’d jumped at the chance to be with the woman he actually loved, the woman who was already carrying his child. That had slashed at Ilsa’s ego. She hadn’t wanted the marriage either, yet once again she’d felt unwanted, rejected at the most elemental level.
Her sense of worth had taken a hit, as it had when her father decreed she was a liability to her country.
She’d had enough rejection to last a lifetime.
Ilsa wanted Noah more than she’d ever wanted anything. Walking away from him would be appallingly hard. But it had to be done. Better that she walk away now than wait for him to call an end to their affair.
She needed to be alone. To lick her wounds and try to work out what to do with her life.
CHAPTER NINE
NOAHGROANEDANDarched his head back under the streaming water. With one hand in Ilsa’s wet hair as she knelt before him and the other flat on the wall of the shower, his body trembling on the brink of climax, he was stunned he could still stand. The hungry caress of her mouth drove him to the edge of sanity.
A shudder racked him.
‘No!’
Somehow he managed to disengage himself, though the sight of her at his feet, lips parted and eyes hooded with arousal as she looked up at him, nearly sent him over the edge.
But some instinct stopped him. The same instinct that had seen him follow her below decks and barge into the bathroom where she was already showering. That had made him strip off and join her despite her wary expression.
For a second something had passed between them, a jolt of emotion he couldn’t identify. Then Ilsa had dropped to her knees and taken him in her mouth and he’d lost the ability to think.
Thinking was beyond him now. But every instinct screamed the need to possess this woman. Claim her as his, so often and so completely that she’d never run from him again.
‘No,’ he said again, his voice a guttural growl. ‘I wantyou, Ilsa.’
There. That flash of silver in her eyes was surely a reflection of his own feelings. Noah let the sight reassure him as he dragged in a breath of sex-scented air and drew her to her feet. She was all gorgeous streamlined dips and hollows and long, lithe limbs. Her blonde hair was dark as a mermaid’s tresses, plastered to her shoulders and the upper slope of her breasts.
He planted unsteady hands on her narrow waist then slid them towards her hips, ready to lift her up. But she turned in his hold. For a second he thought she was leaving. Just as he had when he’d entered the shower and caught surprise in her eyes that for an instant had looked like panic.
Instead Ilsa put her hands flat against the tiled wall, shimmying her hips back towards him.
It wasn’t what he wanted. He needed to share the ultimate moment with their eyes locked on each other. He wanted that silent but powerful communion with Ilsa.
But then she shuffled closer, her legs splaying on either side of his, and Noah couldn’t resist. He bent his knees and positioned himself between her thighs, one hand stroking her cleft and discovering her ready. So ready she tilted eagerly into his touch, her breath audibly catching.
He needed to know she was with him all the way, because he sensed that in the last half hour something had altered. Something bothered her and he intended to find out what it was.
With one smooth, strong thrust he drove home. Right to her core. Right to the place where it felt as if he and Ilsa were one.
Delight was a ripple of excited nerves, a bunching of muscles and a tightening of flesh as she pushed against him, his name a gasp on her lips.
Nexttime they’d be face to face and he’d watch the flare in her silvery blue gaze as they orgasmed together.
Noah held her hips and thrust again, learning anew the rhythm and angle that ignited her blood, feeling her vibrate with excitement. This was what he needed. Weeks with Ilsa hadn’t dimmed his hunger for more. For everything she could give him.