‘I thought I was, but I think I was just caught up in the romance of it.’ She shrugged. ‘The experience changed me. I wasn’t so ready to believe every compliment. I became adept at discovering the reasons behind a man’s interest. You’d be surprised how often it wasn’t about me but about trying to get status or wealth, or even a bet about getting the goody-two-shoes Princess into bed.’ She nodded at his indrawn breath. ‘I became less trusting and less interested.’
There was still the fact that Ilsa had been engaged, twice, but hadn’t slept with either fiancé. Even in the rarefied world of royalty that seemed odd, but Noah refused to ask. If she wanted to talk about that she would.
‘Yet you trusted me. You let me lead you out from under the noses of all those gossipy socialites, straight to my yacht.’ He dragged in a breath that hurt because his lungs had cramped, as he thought of the trust she’d placed in him. ‘Everyone understood what it meant when we left together.’
No wonder the media had been rife with stories about them.
The risk she’d taken with him made him feel uncharacteristically humble. After her two failed engagements, the press eagerly extrapolated on the next instalment of what it saw as the ongoing saga of her love life. He’d risked nothing while she—
‘It was different with you.’ Ilsa slid her hand over his chest, covering the place where his heart thudded. ‘I can’t explain, but I believed you, and I wanted you, so badly. I’d never felt like that.’
‘I know what you mean.’ With her, everything felt different and new.
Noah gathered her in, not allowing himself to dwell on the idea that their relationship was unique, even though it felt like it. That had to be an illusion, maybe due to their phenomenal sexual compatibility. Yet he forgot about maintaining distance and revelled in holding her, naked and soft in his arms.
‘You can trust me, Ilsa. I won’t let you down.’
Ilsa knew better than to expect too much from a relationship founded on sexual attraction, yet Noah’s words penetrated deep.
She heard the words and clutched them close, like a miser hoarding treasure. Would it really hurt to pretend, just for a short time, that what they had was real and more than a convenient affair?
No, it was too perilous. Just because she felt so much didn’t mean this could last. Noah might be different from other men, he might make her feel special, but their paths lay in different directions. They lived on opposite sides of the world. He didn’t want a family and she desperately did, though her chances of having a child were increasingly slim.
An ache started in her chest and she fought to suppress it. All she could do was live in the present. This glorious, amazing present. Later she’d worry about her future.
She snuggled nearer, inhaling the warm, spicy scent that was Noah’s alone, determined to make the most of these incredible moments.
He rolled onto his back, pulling her so she lay over him, her head near his collarbone, her leg draped over his hip. It was remarkably comfortable. More than comfortable, she decided as she rubbed her face against him, fascinated by the texture of silky skin and crisp chest hair over hot muscle. He felt wonderful.
Yet Ilsa’s thoughts kept straying to the fact that their lives would only intersect for a short time. This time together was precious.
‘What are you thinking, Ilsa? It can’t be good.’
She lifted her head to meet his questioning gaze. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘You’re not relaxed any more.’
He noticed too much.
But Ilsa liked that. She’d never known a man so focused on her that he noticed minute changes in her mood. She propped herself up and stroked her palm across the plane of his jaw, adoring the hint of raspiness there.
She shook her head. ‘Nothing really. Just about the fact this is an escape from reality. When this is over I’ll have to go back to Altbourg.’
And try to carve out a new life for herself.
Noah’s arms tightened around her. ‘But not too soon.’
Those mesmerising eyes held hers as if willing her to agree. As if Ilsa needed persuading!
‘No, not too soon.’ She wanted to stay with Noah as long as possible.
‘Do you enjoy being royal?’
Ilsa blinked. ‘Enjoy it?’
‘You look surprised. Hasn’t anyone ever asked?’
‘Never.’