Page 121 of Daughters of Paris

‘Just a little,’ Fleur said, frowning

Colette hung her head. ‘Just like I can be.’

Fleur sighed again. ‘That’s not true. You do think of others, just not necessarily at the best time.’

Colette told her about the liberated food and Fleur relented.

‘We’ll make the best of it, as we always do. Just don’t go inviting anyone else because I’m certainly not sharing my bedroom.’

Colette readily agreed, knowing that there would be no chance of her next call resulting in a guest.

The following day, Colette put on her best blouse and hat and visited her parents. She waited until six in the evening, knowing that by then Louis would be home from the factory. Delphine answered the door. She held a cocktail glass in her hand.

‘What is that child still doing there?’ she said, looking at the baby.

‘Hello,Mère.’ Colette smiled but it was not returned.

‘You had better come inside before anyone sees you,’ Delphine said. She turned and walked away, heels snapping on the wooden floor. Colette followed but Delphine whipped round and raised a hand once she was into the hallway.

‘This is far enough. When will the baby be leaving? Have you struggled to have it placed?’

Colette raised her head. ‘“She”, not “it”. I will be keeping her.’

‘Don’t you remember what I told you?’ exclaimed Delphine.

‘You told me lots of things,’ Colette said, ‘but I’ve made my mind up. I’m going to raise my daughter and when her father comes home, I hope he will raise her with me.’

The dining room door opened and Louis walked out. His eyes crinkled with delight and Colette was reminded of the baby when she laughed.

‘Colette, are you well?’

‘Yes, I am, thank you,Papa. How nice of you to ask.’ She flashed her eyes at Delphine.

‘And where is the father?’ Delphine asked, as if the exchange had not happened.

Colette began to rehearse the same lie she had used on Sophie and Josette but then changed her mind. She lifted her head and looked at both her parents.

‘He is away fighting for France. I don’t know where, or if he will ever return, but whatever happens, I will raise his daughter to know how brave and patriotic her father was.’

There was nothing Delphine could object to, without appearing churlish in the least or a traitor to France at the worst. Colette could almost see her mind seeking for something else to criticise. She settled on, ‘Why are you wearing the child like a Russian peasant woman from the nineteenth century? Where is its pram?’

‘Shedoes not have a pram. They are too expensive. This is perfectly comfortable and practical. Obviously Russian peasant women were very wise.’

Delphine made a noise in the back of her throat and spun away. She stalked up the stairs and Colette heard the door to her salon slamming shut. It felt very similar to her childhood.

Louis stood awkwardly in the hall. He’d lost more weight and his hair had thinned. Colette wanted to run to him and hug him as she had done in childhood.

‘Papa,you look tired. Are you unwell?’

‘My heart is tired knowing my daughter and wife are estranged,’ he said. ‘Colette, are you absolutely sure you want to do this? Think of the future you could have. It isn’t too late to come home. We’ll find a good home for your daughter, and no one need to know about this. Most eligible men are absent and the whole incident can be cleaned away by the time any return home. We can throw parties and invite people by the dozens.’

Once, it would have been tempting, but those days were over. Colette shook her head slowly but smiled to show him she was grateful for the offer.

‘The future you wanted for me has gone. The Paris you wanted for me has gone. I don’t know what the future will hold. None of us do.Papa, I want you to be proud of me. I am making my way in the world. I’ve created order out of the chaos that are the accounts for the bookshop, and I love an honourable man. Please be happy for me.’

‘Wait here,’ Louis said. He walked away and returned shortly afterwards. He gave Colette an envelope. ‘I don’t want my granddaughter to starve. Open it when you get home.’

‘Thank you.’ Colette reached up and brushed his cheek with her lips, touched at his generosity. She could refuse help for herself but she was not too proud to accept it if it meant her daughter was well fed.

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