Page 119 of Daughters of Paris

Fleur tensed. Falling asleep? Falling in love? She was desperate to ask but his frame had gone limp and presently he began to snore. Fleur lay beside him a little longer until she was certain he was asleep.

‘I think I love you,’ Fleur murmured.

She hadn’t meant to, but the words slipped out before she could stop them.

Exhilaration, exhaustion, intoxication. She could blame any or all of them, but she knew in reality she had been hoping to say the words for months.

Chapter Thirty-Three

July 1943

For six months after her birth, the baby remained nameless. In the absence of a pram, Colette still wore the baby strapped to herself, tied securely in place with scarves and a blanket, though now this made her back ache and she was increasingly worried the infant would wriggle her way out. It was worth the discomfort because the good-natured child with her dark brown eyes and fluff of light brown hair drew comments and praise from women queuing, and even smiles from some of the guards at checkpoints.

‘I should be the one carrying secret messages,’ she told Fleur as they strolled down the Champs-Elysées one afternoon. ‘No one would suspect me and half the time the soldiers barely glance at my papers, especially the older ones who have children back in Germany.’

Fleur giggled. ‘If you get the timing right you could stuff her napkin full of weapons and no one would want to go near it.’

After a particularly frustrating week comprised of broken sleep, feeding, and changing disgusting napkins, Colette ventured out into the world to pay some visits.

Firstly, she went to the Luciennes’ hotel to see Sophie and Josette. She hadn’t been there since she discovered her pregnancy, and the building was looking quite shabby now. Pangs of anxiety rippled up and down her as she walked inside to the reception desk. She had granted her mother’s request not to share her pregnancy with any of Delphine’s social circle, so the sisters and their mother were not even aware of the baby. She wasn’t sure how she would be received but need not have worried. The minute Josette realised who was standing in the foyer, she came round from behind the desk, squealing at the sight of the baby.

Any inclination to condemn Colette’s behaviour was clearly overridden by maternal feelings. Colette proudly unwrapped the baby and passed her over for a cuddle.

‘Is this why you vanished from the face of the earth?’ Josette asked. ‘I missed you. I went to your house once or twice, but your mother refused to tell me where you were. We thought you must have been taken ill and were shut away in a sanatorium somewhere.’

Only once or twice! She tried not to feel hurt at how quickly she had been forgotten. Faced with Delphine’s unwelcoming behaviour, however, it was hardly a mystery why Josette had given up so quickly.

So Delphine was still furious, she mused. She had made the right choice coming to see the sisters first.

‘I’m living above the old bookshop Fleur is minding while the owner is absent. It’s a strange life but actually I’m happy.’

The two women retreated into the office behind the reception desk. It was the middle of the day and the hotel was quiet.

‘Most of the guests are on leave in the city and out sightseeing,’ Josette explained. ‘You won’t recognise any faces. They come for a week and go again. I preferred it when we had a whole detachment for months at a time. They treated us better but that doesn’t happen anymore.’

She frowned and her mouth became a thin line.

‘Where is Sophie? I’d like to see her too,’ Colette asked.

Josette’s eyes dropped. ‘She is upstairs in her room. You should go and see her. I imagine she’ll be very pleased to see you. I should warn you… No, I won’t. You’ll see for yourself.’

Josette handed the baby back. ‘I’m very pleased you are happy and the baby is beautiful.’

Colette made her way to the private flat on the top floor of the hotel. Sophie was in her bedroom and Josette’s cryptic words became apparent as soon as Colette saw her.

She was pregnant. About five months from the size of her bump, Colette estimated.

‘Don’t!’ she exclaimed as Colette opened her mouth. ‘I can’t bear it. I’m so ashamed of myself. Is that your baby? No wonder we haven’t seen you for months.’

She motioned to a chair then eased herself into another. ‘What a dreadful pair we are! What is going to become of us?’

‘Who is your baby’s father?’ Colette asked.

‘A German officer in the Luftwaffe,’ Sophie said, hanging her head. ‘He told me he loved me and asked me to marry him when the war was over. Then, when I told him about the baby, he took it all back. Apparently, he already has a wife and two children in Munich and it was a lie from beginning to end. Now here I am, stuck on my own in this position. I assume yours belongs to the man you were arguing with in front of the hotel all those months ago?’

‘Yes, she does.’ Colette laid the baby down on the bed. ‘Unfortunately, he was selected for the STO and has left Paris so he hasn’t even seen her.’

Sophie smiled faintly ‘I rather hope mine is a girl too.’

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