Brigid stroked Grady’s back under the blanket. As usual, he had recovered quickly and taken care of everything. Gotten up after they had made love, because what they had done, both tonight and last night, was so far from sex as anything before. He had cleaned them up, brought them some snacks, and covered them up with a blanket to ward off the chill in the air. Now they snuggled on an air mattress in front of the fire in a nice nest, cozy and warm and drowsy. Yet, despite being sated and tired physically, her mind was whirling much like the wind outside.
“Does your brain ever shut off?” Grady’s voice was a low rumble under her cheek and his hand traced the curve of her spine.
She lifted her head and studied him for a long moment. “You already know the answer to that.”
His hand stopped moving for a moment, then started again, his gaze never leaving the fire. She struggled to her elbows and propped her chin in her hand. “Grady, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what you said, and I really suck at this, but I have to get it out.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw and his body tensed against her, as if bracing for a blow. “Brigid, we can forget about it. Talk about it another time.”
She was shaking her head before he was even done. “No, I owe you this. I owe myself this.”
She fell silent, unsure how to start. Somehow, throughout her life, she was missing the girl gene, that special something that gave her the ability to talk about her feelings, know exactly what to say to make someone feel better, know exactly what to wear and how to act in every situation, and enjoy spa days like other women. Instead, she argued with people about court cases, legal issues, and political statements. Talking about her feelings never fit in anywhere, much less trying to analyze how she felt at any given moment. Now, Grady deserved to know how she felt, even if she had no clue how to explain it. But, somehow, Grady would understand no matter how she screwed it up.
He waited patiently, much as he always did. And that was when she realized why she cared about him and what to say.
“Grady, everyone in my life has put conditions on love. My parents demanded success, a certain career, grades, whatever you call it, for us to be worthy of their love and attention. You’re the first person who demanded nothing from me, even though you push me out of my comfort zone. Instead, you’ve always been there when I needed you. You brought me soup and groceries when I was sick. When I needed comfort, you were there. When I’m afraid, you know it. I don’t know how, but you do. And yet, even when I push you away, you’re still there, steady and strong, like a beacon in the storm. I have a lot going on in my life but somehow, I don’t know how, you’ve become my anchor, my rock. If that’s love, then I guess I love you.”
A log snapped in the fire, and she jumped. The silence dragged on for several moments and the storm raged outside. She laid a hand on Grady’s chest, his heart beating steady and sure. She held her breath, waiting for his response, her stomach clenching deep inside. Had he changed his mind? Did he regret saying he loved her? Maybe he really didn’t. Damn, why couldn’t she be more like Delaney or Anna, able to just speak her mind and tell people how she felt? Instead, she was an emotionally stunted woman who didn’t know how to deal with a relationship.
He squeezed her tightly and pressed a kissed to her forehead. “Stop thinking so damn hard. You’re drowning out the sound of the storm.”
“Did you hear anything I said?”
He burst out laughing and rolled her under him, bracing himself above her. “Every word. And I’ll say it again. I love you. No conditions, no strings. We’ll figure everything else out.”
“What about my job?”
He sighed. “I hate to see you miserable, but if you want to stay there, I’ll support it. I just have one request. Balance. Make room for me, for your friends. Your life can’t be all about your job, to the exclusion of everything else. I want to be a part of your life, not a hidden part. Not only when it’s convenient. I want us to be in an actual relationship, no one else. Can you do that?”
She nodded. “I promise. I’ll make time for you and everyone else. But how will I fill my time when I’m not working?”
A slow grin crossed his face. “Well, we can start with this.”
He lowered his head and showed her exactly how he’d help her fill her free time.
ChapterTwenty-Three
Brigid woke slowly to music. The sounds from the storm had ended and the power had returned, including the music from the sound system, the lights, and ticking of the clock on the wall. All the sounds rudely intruded on the blissful peace she had experienced with Grady over the past twenty-four hours. She stretched gently, to not dislodge Grady’s arm. The weight across her midsection was so comforting.
That same arm tightened around her waist, hauling her up against his side. He nuzzled her neck, dropping kisses along her throat. She shivered and snuggled into his heat. She relaxed for several long moments, enjoying the warmth and comfort that only Grady could provide. Only with him did she feel completely relaxed and comfortable with who she was—the only person who accepted her, flaws and all.
“I’m going to quit my job.” She whispered, as if testing the words out loud.
He sat up on one elbow. “What? Why?”
She rolled on her back to see him better. “Because my job makes us miserable and impossible.”
He sat up and leaned against the couch. “I never said you had to quit your job to date me. I’m perfectly fine with you and your job. I just wanted you to make time for other things like your best friend’s wedding and us. Only quit your job if you want to.”
She also sat up, holding the blanket against her chest as defense for the argument. “You’ve been harping on how bad my job is, how it’s killing me. Now you want me to stay there?”
“I never said it was a condition of us dating. You said that.”
“So, you want me to stay there?” Her mind whirled, baffled by his response. First, the job was a problem and now it wasn’t? How could she keep up?
“Stay there. Quit. It’s up to you.” He shrugged. “I just want to be a part of your life, not an embarrassing little side secret, only convenient for sex when you’re feeling tense.”
“I don’t see you that way.” Her brow furrowed. Had she treated him that way?