Page 40 of Something Borrowed

“Because you’ll eventually hate me.” The words burst out of her, and he blinked, shocked at the words.

“Hate you? I could never hate you.”

She pushed past his arm, surprise letting her go easily. “You think my hours are bad now? That doesn’t end, Grady, with my promotion. I will never ease up these hours. Dinner will always be very late. I may miss many events, dates, birthdays, anything. Work comes first.”

“So why does it come first? Plenty of lawyers aren’t so driven. Why do you need to do this?”

She paced the bedroom, not looking at him at all. Finally, she spoke. “You know my older brother is a brilliant neurosurgeon, right? Barely had to even go to undergrad, just long enough to take his pre-med courses. He had his choice of hospitals and options.”

He resisted the urge to hurry her along, knowing this was something she had to say, had to get out. He sat on the bed and waited for her to speak.

“My parents constantly compared me to him.” Her voice lowered. “Why can’t you be more like Edward? Edward aced that class; why couldn’t you?” Her voice went back to normal. “They expected me to be so smart too, their second-born. Instead, I was normal.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being normal. Plenty of people are.” He spoke tentatively, knowing it was the wrong thing to say but having to do it anyway.

“Yeah, not for my parents. I just wasn’t trying hard enough. Then my beautiful younger sister came along. Model, interior decorator. Her spreads are in magazines everywhere, and she married an executive and has two perfect children already. I’m the boring piece of cheese in the center of the sandwich of brilliance.”

“There are a lot of cheeses. You don’t have to be boring.” His tone remained neutral, not wanting to stop her train of thought.

“I tried, Grady. I worked hard at school, college, at the firm. Failure is not an option.”

She finally stopped pacing, as if she had spent all of her energy with her words and was now deflated like a balloon. She sagged onto the other side of the bed. Grady absorbed her words in silence, processing and figuring out his next steps.

“So, let me try to understand this. You need to be top at your firm because your parents say so?”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing. I’m just trying to understand.” He heaved a sigh. “What happens if you don’t become a partner by the time you’re thirty?”

She stared at him. “Have you heard nothing? I’ve been disappointing my parents my whole life. I can’t do it now. I can become a partner. I’m on the track.”

“Seems to me you’ll become partner no matter what, maybe not by thirty but within a couple of years. Is it really worth the stress, sleepless nights, the ulcer? What about your happiness? Will making partner make you happy?”

She glanced out the window, looking so defeated. “I don’t know.”

He stood and walked around the bed to stand in front of her. “I won’t pretend to understand the pressure you’re facing. I was lucky. My dad never put the pressure on me to be like Matthew, probably because our parents were divorced and it only seemed fair that I was like my dad and Matthew more like my mom. But, hell, my dad was never happy with how I ran his company, doing the historical preservations and working on lower income housing, only now he can’t really complain about it anymore. I chose to live my life and make myself happy.”

He sat on the bed next to her and nudged her with his shoulder. “You have a lot to offer and you need to accept that there are other important things in life besides success at work. Happiness for one thing. Your sister balanced work and family. Why can’t you?”

She tossed her head and glared at him. “You don’t understand. I have to prove to myself that I can do this. It’s not just about my parents. And once I get there, then I can figure out my next steps.”

He drew back. “But that will never happen, will it? Once you get partner, there’ll be another big hurdle, and another and another. When will it be enough? When you’re old and alone, with nothing except regrets to keep you company. Is that what you want?”

She stared at him, a thoughtful look on her face. “I’m not sure. But I have to do this. And a relationship takes my focus off of my goals. I’ll just have to see where I am then.”

He slapped his hands on his thighs, and she flinched. He stood. “Unfortunately, I probably won’t be around to see it. I can’t keep waiting for that mythical time when you might be ready. What if it never comes?” He grabbed the blankets from the floor. “I’ll sleep on the couch downstairs.”

And he stalked out of the room, anger and frustration riding him hard. How do you argue with someone like that?

ChapterSeventeen

Brigid waited for Grady to return, but in the early morning hours, she fell asleep, exhausted and heartsick and unsure of how to fix them or even what went wrong. She had been honest with Grady from the beginning. It wasn’t her fault that he changed the rules on her. He changed the parameters of their agreement. Yet somewhere deep inside, a seductive voice whispered, But you want him too. Take a chance, this once.

But she couldn’t afford to, not when she was this close.

Damn him for changing the rules.

She came awake slowly when Caroline banged on her door. “Rise and shine! Breakfast in thirty minutes.”

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