Page 10 of Something Borrowed

Sunlight streamed through Brigid’s window Sunday morning. She had tossed and turned all night, much as she had all weekend, but she had finally fallen asleep somewhere around four. Even working all day Saturday, trying to exhaust herself, she had been distracted by her thoughts running through her head, so much so that she accidentally called her boss, Peterman, by Grady’s name. Needless to say, he wasn’t too impressed to be compared to her supposed boyfriend. She gave up explaining that he wasn’t her boyfriend, especially when his wife called multiple times, demanding Grady’s contact information, along with Brigid’s sister’s information. Louise seemed determined to have Grady do her new addition and would not be dissuaded. And what Louise Peterman wanted, Bill Peterman made sure she got.

Now to convince Grady to accept the commission, after she had expressly asked him not to take any business from her firm’s partners. Well, she could eat a little crow for that. Too bad he was pissed at her.

She had a choice to make. Go into work for the morning and hope she made it out on time for the ferry, or skip work just this once and get ready for the wedding. She rolled over and rubbed her eyes, gritty from too much reading and lack of sleep. There might have been a few tears thrown in when she was at her weakest, in the middle of the night, but she’d be damned if she knew why she was crying. Ending whatever she and Grady had was the best idea, even if it created awkwardness next week and beyond.

Where did they go from here? Could they go back to friends without benefits? She didn’t remember a time when they really were friends. They had met when Caroline set them up on a double date in Brigid’s first year of law school. Caroline was missing her best friend, Delaney Winters and her fiancé Ethan Van Owen, who had been the power couple with Caroline and Matthew. After Delaney’s father died, Delaney had retreated from the group and society as she had known it, leaving the group and especially Caroline adrift. Then Anna Maria Costado, the fourth member of their group, left for California and a gig on a nighttime drama, leaving Brigid and Caroline behind. Caroline had glommed on to Brigid, making her Caroline’s new best friend and a candidate for double dating. The only missing link was a boyfriend for Brigid.

The date had been a disaster. Grady and Brigid couldn’t have been more different. Grady played sports, drank beer, and was a helluva lot more easygoing than Brigid ever was, while Brigid spent hours studying and focused on her goal. After several drinks that hit Brigid a lot harder than she had expected, and her stress over midterms, they had fallen in lust, spending one night in sexual pleasure more than Brigid had ever expected. She had been relaxed enough after that and easily passed her midterms. After that night, they tried to keep things on the down low, but stress relief sex became the name of their relationship. She didn’t know if Caroline knew the truth behind their relationship, but after Friday night, well, apparently everyone thought it was something more.

She liked Grady. He had taken his father’s contracting business and turned it around from the red zone to black through hard work and long hours, a fact Brigid had found very attractive once she had gotten past her initial, and admittedly snobbish, stance. Grady was happy where he was working to live. He accused Brigid of being a workaholic with no end in sight, and maybe he was right.

They were different people, but Grady said things that hit a little too close to home. Did she really like scotch? She tolerated it and could appreciate expensive scotch, but could she really say she preferred it? No. As to the work, she had enjoyed her time with Legal Aid and helping people. For once, she felt like she was making a difference. But her life had a plan. She had plans for her future, and she didn’t want to settle for anything less. Her father would never allow her to settle for anything less and, for better or worse, he was the voice in her head, prodding her forward when her strength flagged or her determination wavered.

She groaned and rolled out of bed to take a shower. Before she crossed half the room, her cell phone rang. Glancing at the screen, she stifled a groan. “Hello, Dad. What’s up?”

“Good morning. Thought I’d check in early since I know you’ll probably be working today, even though it’s Sunday.”

The small note of censure reminded her of her college years when her father used to call to remind her to go to church. She had long ago given up on church, spending the time studying or working instead. Her father believed in working hard, but he always made time for Sunday mass, even if he went to the office or worked at home the rest of the day. He never quite subscribed to Sunday as a day of rest for himself or anyone in the family.

“I’ll be leaving early for the island and Caroline’s wedding. I’ll be gone all week.”

“Can you afford to be gone that long? You know, you’re a new lawyer in the firm. You can’t be considered for promotions if you’re not available and working harder than everyone else. Your brother didn’t take time off from the hospital, not even for his wedding. If you want to get ahead, you have to work for it.”

A familiar tightening spread from her stomach to her shoulder and the rest of her body, leaving her rigid and wooden in place, next to the bed.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten, then ten again, willing the muscles to relax. “Dad, I know that. And believe me, I’ve already spent seventy hours at the office last week. Besides, Caroline is marrying one of the new partners, Matthew. So, I’m kind of required to be there, both as a friend and as a business partner.”

“Marrying the boss’s daughter? Not a very original way to get ahead, but it works. Maintaining a connection with them can help you work your way up the ladder.” He sniffed, a familiar bitterness tingeing his tone. Bitterness that he had never quite achieved the success he had always wanted and how he had always blamed other people and their different ways of getting ahead.

“Dad, Matthew was with Caroline before working there. He’s an excellent lawyer and earned it.”

As the familiar litany played out, she relaxed and answering on autopilot. Lord knew they’d had this conversation many times; her father was not a fan of using personal connections to get ahead. But, then again, he was never very good at making friends in the workplace. Too hard-nosed and strict to be friendly with anyone at work, and he never welcomed any kind of friendship, encouraging his children to focus on working hard instead. That worked well for her older brother, who was a borderline genius and got through medical school in record time, and her younger sister, who got all the charm and beauty in the family. Why did all the talents skip her?

“Brigid, just remember. You have a plan. It’s a solid plan, designed to provide you with the security and independence you’ll need in this life. Don’t make any mistakes or poor judgments.”

The familiar lecture and constant reminder grated on her nerves, but she gritted her teeth. “Yes, Dad. I have the plan posted and had a very encouraging talk last Friday with my boss and one of the other partners, a mentor of sorts. Both seemed positive on my chances of the promotion to junior partner.”

“Hm. That’s promising, but until it’s in writing, don’t believe it. Now, about your date for the wedding. He should be the right sort of man. Look at your sister. She married an executive, and her business exploded with new customers. She can’t keep up with the work. You need someone to complement your work. He doesn’t have to be a lawyer, but a professional is required.”

Dating advice from her father? If that wasn’t creepy or uncomfortable, she didn’t know what else could be. Brigid wanted a family, someday, but how could she ever consider that while working eighty-hour weeks and competing with every breath for partnership? And the partners worked just as hard. If she married a professional like her, who would raise the children? A nanny whom they’d eventually call mom and be closer to than Brigid? She remembered her own time growing up. Her mother was constantly on the road with her father or catering to his needs at home, volunteering for some organization or another, always trying to make him look better to the senior leaders. Meanwhile, she and her siblings were left home with Marina, their nanny and housekeeper, who raised them. Her brother was involved in so many special education classes for his advanced mind, and her sister was off doing beauty pageants and with her friends, leaving Brigid at home, alone. She had felt isolated and swore never to do that to a child. Now, with her path in front of her and the reality staring her in the face, she couldn’t imagine having kids. With Grady, she knew he would never allow his kids to be raised by anyone but himself, especially not after his childhood. But she sensed a future with him was no longer an actual option, not if she wanted her goals at the firm.

She placed a hand on her head and sunk down on the bed, letting her father drone on in her ear, lecturing her about her husband choices. When had she considered Grady as the father of her children? Had she been more emotionally involved than she thought? He clearly was, and she had pulled that rug out from under him so quickly and neatly. Maybe she also lost out on a great opportunity.

No, she had to stay the course. He’d be miserable with someone like her. He’d never tolerate her working eighty hours a week while he sat home with the kids. She was right. They’d be divorced and miserable within a few years, and it was better to not pull children or their friends into this.

A ding in her ear had her looking at the phone to see a text message from Grady. Her gut tightened again, almost afraid to look. Was he still mad?

“Hey, Dad? I have to run. I’ll be late if I don’t get moving now.”

Timeliness was only next to godliness and hard work. The threat of being late was guaranteed to get her father off the phone immediately. They quickly ended the call, and she opened the text message.

I left some lamps for the cottage at my house. Can you bring them with you on the ferry?

Nothing about their argument. It was like Friday night had never happened.

Should she be insulted that he didn’t seem to care or relieved that it wouldn’t be a thing hanging over them for the week?

She texted back,No problem.

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