Page 58 of Something Borrowed

She buried her face in her hands. God, how fucked up was her life?

The clicking of heels in the hallway then into the break room had her composing herself quickly. She looked up, a neutral smile on her face, as if the last several minutes and close meltdown hadn’t happened. Barracuda Betty looked surprised to see her there. No more than Brigid herself at seeing the other woman.

“Ms. Anderson. I thought you were attending the wedding of Caroline Masters. A bridesmaid, weren’t you?”

Of course, she knew about the wedding. She was probably attending, as one of the executive officers.

“Yes, but the Cournoyer deal got moved up a couple of weeks, so Mr. Peterman called me back.”

The older woman frowned but said nothing. She walked to the fridge and pulled out a partially eaten salad leftover from lunch. She poured a cup of coffee, then paused, turning to study Brigid. She then brought her food to the small round table.

“Mind if I join you for a short time? I hate eating at my desk. I don’t want to get dressing on the papers and I find I don’t eat while working.”

Brigid gave a wan smile, almost too tired to be on her toes. “A break from the computer is always good. Please, join me.”

Elizabeth Wardwell slid into a chair and ate. They sat in silence. The only sound came from the scrape of Brigid’s spoon in the yogurt and the crunch of Ms. Wardwell’s salad.

Finally, the other woman sighed. “Did you think at all about what we discussed last week at Matthew’s promotion?”

Brigid was so surprised that she had to think back about the conversation. “You mean about who I’m dating?”

She smiled. “Not exactly, but what you want out of life. You’re young and your friend is getting married and where are you? In the office, working late, all alone. Where is your young man?”

Brigid grimaced. “I don’t think he’s my young man anymore.”

“Really? He seemed quite smitten with you. It’s not every man who would subject themselves to a boring office party full of lawyers for a girl.”

“His brother is one of those boring lawyers, so I think he had another reason.” Brigid tried to smile, but failed miserably.

“Maybe. But he still came for you. And he seemed like a nice young man. Were you a little too intimidating for him?”

“What? No, he owns his own business. He just didn’t like not being number one.”

“Ahhh.” The other woman nodded. “He needed to be your top priority. Many men have trouble not being the center of a woman’s world.”

Her words slapped Brigid, sending her back to the argument. Was it really only that morning? A lifetime seemed to have passed rather than eight hours. She shook her head. “No, not like that. He said he could handle my job, but he didn’t understand why I had to come back for this.”

“Why did you come back?”

Brigid cocked her head and studied the other woman quizzically. Was it a trick question? Suspecting a trap, she spoke hesitantly. “The deal was moved up. I had to be here.”

Ms. Wardwell pursed her lips, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Honestly, the only person who needed to be here was Bill Peterman. He’s the partner on the deal. You and your colleagues are there to help. I’m sure Terrence and the paralegals would have been fine.”

“Well, I was told I had to be here.”

“What would have happened if you said no?” She said the question quietly, but Brigid held her breath, wondering if she was navigating a minefield. “He wouldn’t have fired you. Or did you think he would?”

“I wanted the promotion.”

“There it is. You thought the promotion rested solely on your attendance for this deal.” In a startling move, she reached across the table and grabbed Brigid’s hand. “Promotions are not won or lost based on your attendance at one meeting, even a really big one. You are allowed a vacation, dear.”

Brigid frowned, the implications of her words sinking in. She wrestled with the sudden change in thought.

Ms. Wardwell stood. “I think you should have a discussion with Bill Peterman about this. I know he thinks highly of you, even if he won’t admit it.” She turned to leave, then paused, leveling a steady glance at Brigid. “Don’t throw away love or your life for a job. It’s not worth it. You asked me once if I had any regrets about my choices and I said no. That was a lie, Ms. Anderson. I have plenty of regrets, and none of them center around my job.”

Brigid barely heard her leave, the foundation of her whole life crumbling around her, leaving her on unsteady and shaky ground.

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