Page 61 of His Innocent Muse

“You’re welcome,” I manage.

“Is… Is that something you’d want again? With me? The distant thing?”

I grab her hands and lower them, linking our fingers together in the hope she won’t feel the tremble. “No. I think,” I hold my breath, counting heartbeats, “I think I’d like to try something different with you.”

19

LUCY

Mom never told me anything aboutBridget.

I mean, to be entirely fair, she never told me about a lot of things. And I guess that makes sense, logically speaking. She found a new, safe husband in my step-father and left whatever crazy, homicidal life Ghost lives behind. Was she part of it, maybe, and didn’t want that life for her daughter?

I have to assume as much. And I can’t blame her for wanting a better life, for both herself and for me, and I’m not even mad at her now. After all, how would she know her friend from college would make her involuntary way up my people-I-dislike-greatly list just for having been part of another friend’s life?

Blech, that’s weird to think about. What a horrifically small world.

Ghost squeezes my hands, lowering his eyes to examine how they fit together so neatly. I wiggle mine until I can hold his tighter, bringing our joined fists to my mouth and pressing a kiss to every single one of his scarred knuckles.

His eyes soften again, that tiny little flash of surprise at receiving affection, and I grip him even tighter. He hasn’t jumped away from me once since I’ve been back. Weirdly, something about last night changed things in my mind. I don’t think it would hurt if he tried to pull away now.

I just don’t think I couldlethim.

“Would you want to try, um,” I squint, trying to backtrack, remembering how he phrased things before revealing what happened to his last…lover, “the twenty-four seven dynamic, with me?”

“You’re talking like you’ve agreed.”

My eyes widen. I expect him to laugh, or smirk, or anything besides wait on bated breath, but he doesn’t.

“Did you think I’d say ‘no’?”

“Lucy.” He draws in a shaky breath, tipping his head back to stare directly into the ceiling lights again, and I actively tell myself not to lean in and bite his neck. “There’s…so much more you need to know. Before—”

I clear my throat, and he lowers his head, leveling me with a dark look.

“We need to talk about you interrupting.”

Heat curls up my spine, and I bite my lip to hide a smile, nodding at him instead. His train of thought is completely derailed, though, and he shakes his head, a rumbling growl filling the loft.

“Feisty little muse this morning, are you?” he asks against my mouth, foregoing kissing my lips to drag his tongue in a slow, fiery line to my ear.

“N-No, Sir,” I breathe, rocking my hips against his bare stomach. “I’m listening.”

“Mmm, I don’t think you are,” he purrs, and I can’t swallow the whine. He brushes his nose behind the shell of my ear, so achingly gentle, before he bites down with another low growl.

I squeak, dropping my head back for him, and he rewards me with a line of wet kisses down my neck. He lets go of my hand to grab my jaw, bringing my head back forward and holding my eyes.

“This is serious, Lucy. I need to know you understand what I’m saying to you. What evils linger in my life, what your life will become if you let me in.”

“You’re already in,” I whisper, and he loosens his grip on my jaw to hear me clearer. “Ghost, I can’t imagine life without you in it. I… I only left because I didn’t want to disrupt you any more. I thought…”

I swallow, forcing my head to stay up, to hold his eyes, even as his heart breaks.

“I never should have left you feeling that way,” he says. It’s the second time, and from the weight in his voice, I doubt it will be his last apology.

“You could not have possibly known what—”

“I should’ve,” he says. “What we’re talking about, Lucy, the dynamic. You are a dream. Perfection. Your desire to obey is rooted down to your soul, and I’ve known that since you first got in my car. You followed my every request, you let your guard down, let your mind wander right where I led it. Which was somewhere vulnerable and dangerous, and then I left you there alone.”

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