Page 60 of His Innocent Muse

“Yesss, that!”

I chuckle and let her hair go completely, bracing on the counter beside her thighs.

“Depends on what you want. I’ve taught classes on all the different dynamics.”

Lucy blinks her wide eyes at me. “What, uh, dynamic do you like?”

It’s a harder question than I expect. Needing to ground myself in the present, I grab one of her hands, linking our fingers.

My sweet girl sucks in a breath, tears forming so fast they surprise us both. She shutters her eyelids, glancing up.

I see now how touch reactive she is, how meaningful contact is more important than anything. She reacted similarly downstairs that first night, when I was leading her here.

“You haven’t had much kindness in your life, have you, little Firefly?”

“Not for a long time,” she whispers.

“Yet another way we’re similar.” I inhale slowly, prying the wound wide open for the first time. “You should know, I… had a sub for many years. Bridget.” I hold Lucy’s wet gaze when she snaps her attention to me. “She and I were friends first, along with Mabel. Before you ask, there weren’t romantic feelings among any of us. But I appreciated your mother for her humor, and Bridget for her sarcasm. We were close through highschool, but when Mabel moved on, Bridget and I discovered the lifestyle and it made sense at the time for us to stay together. With her, I kept a distant Dom style. I used her to learn, and then eventually, to teach. She was as close to a best friend as I ever had.”

Lucy’s brows twist as she laces her fingers with mine. “Distant Dom style?”

“We weren’t in the dynamic twenty-four seven. She lived her own life in one of the rooms on the lower level, and when either of us needed it, the agreement was to be immediately available, regardless of whatever else might be going on.”

“Ohhh. So, more partnership, less relationship?”

“Exactly.”

“Where is she now?”

There’s an edge to her voice, and hope dares to flutter in my chest. It sounds terribly like possessiveness or jealousy. Apparently, it surprises her, too, as her cheeks tint, eyes widening a bit.

I take a slow breath, puckering my lips in thought. I don’t want her to be scared in such a way that fear makes her decisions for her, rather than her mind or…maybe even her heart. But I also don’t lie.

“She was murdered. Drowned.”

Lucy gasps, covering her mouth with her free hand as she searches my face.

I can almost see her thoughts playing, and clutch her fingers tighter.

After a moment, she lowers her hand and strokes my face with it.

“That’s why you were so upset last night.”

I nod, and she scoots closer, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, tangling her fingers in my hair.

“I’m so sorry, Ghost,” she whispers, full of emotion.

And again, she surprises me. She’s sad. For me, for Bridget, for the situation, and if I didn’t know better, she’s probably sorry for being nearly drowned herself, even though she couldn’t have had control over that.

More proof she’s too good for me.

I pull back and cup her face, kissing her firmly until I can control myself enough to talk.

“No need to be sorry,” I mutter against her lips, but she leans away, catching my gaze.

“Thank you for telling me.”

We stare at each other, and she mirrors my hold on her face. I can’t help but lean into her touch, and her answering smile is almost too much.

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