Page 24 of His Innocent Muse

Eating—he made food I'm ignoring. God, this keeps getting worse. If I go back to sleep, maybe all this will…

Two plates.

He made himself a plate like I asked. He was going to stay and have breakfast with me like I asked. He was gonna stay with me before I ruined it.

The dam breaks for real, and while the tears flow so hard and so fast, I'm blinded by them. I can't pull in enough air to cry. I want to go back in the shower until my skin is burned clean off, until I'm nothing but bones and regret.

Until he'd call me precious again.

I force myself to sit at his long table, aching at the emptiness of it. My stomach twists and rebels with every bite of food I force down, the eggs cold and weeping by now.

Doesn't matter. I won't waste more of his time. I'd eat two plates of ice if that's what he'd left here for me.

For us.

What I wouldn’t give to fix this… Maybe I don't wish it were him. I don't think I care enough to be so invested in who got to take my virginity, but I wished… I hoped it would give him pause. It sounded better than shattering and begging him to understand I never wanted anything with anyone before him. Not my boyfriend from junior high, not any of the men who got their hands in the pie.

I thought it sounded less desperate than saying he woke something inside me that made me want to be wanted. Less pathetic than one day and thirty minutes of his time made me feel more right than ever before.

That furious curl of his mouth will be burned in the back of my mind until my dying day.

"Stupid," I whisper, dropping the fork on the empty plate and swiping at my face.

I push myself up on shaking legs and take my dish to the sink, wrapping his portion in plastic and setting it in the fridge. I'll wash my plate in a bit. First, I'll dry the floor. I'll straighten the pillows on his couch and I'll comb the rug. I'll clean everything I set my hands on, erase myself from his too perfect home.

He didn't want me here before, and the truth only made that worse.

So I'll fix it and disappear. It'll be like I was never even here. He can have his bed back, and I didn't even ruin it with my filth.

He'll probably be relieved I'm not here to burden him anymore.

6

GHOST

The lighting is passable, though it could be shifted a bit to the left. Zalia is too tense, likely because I am. Eustice has been in here three times already, checking to make sure I’m okay, thanks to Mayhem’s interference. Though, that’s all anyone does, it seems.

And where has my head been for the past five hours? Not here, that’s for damn sure. I tie off the last knot on the final exhibit and step back, just as Eustice reappears.

“Everything’s ready.” Her weathered voice rings through the space, despite the sound dampening panels discretely installed everywhere.

I sigh. “I don’t pay you to lie, you know.”

She chuckles and skirts me, giving Zalia a gentle pat on the cheek. “He’s right, lies cost extra. Need anything?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Okay, dearie. Got your button?”

“We’ve already done safety checks,” I grumble.

“Shush, I’m doing my job.”

Zalia wiggles her wrist as much as she can, the black cylinder catching in the light.

“Alrighty, have a good time tonight. Just remember, eyes on the prize.”

“Thank you, Granny.”

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