Page 21 of Broken Doll

He turns to me. “How are your hands? I see you’re scratching them a little more.”

I peer at my hands, and I can see where the skin is starting to peel again. I don't think that the lotion is strong enough for me and I know that I should go to the doctors again, but I just don't want to go. She'll ask questions, and I don't want to answer them.

“Hurt,” I whisper and I move to the side a little as I feel someone new next to the table.

"Well, well, well, look who it is, big man Masters. About time you came here again, how you doing?" The man's voice is filled with excitement; they know each other. "You know my waiter is shitting himself thinking I'm about to fire him when I told him who you are." He laughs and goes to pull out the chair next to me.

"Not there, next to me," Leo tells him, and I can feel his eyes on me. "Or you can stand."

"You know I own this place," I hear the manager say, and I let out a breath when he sits next to Leo, but his eyes are still on me. "So, why are you not eating here?"

“Need to get back home to do a few things.” They start to talk quieter so that I can’t hear them and I sit there thinking about what I should be doing.

I don't know what to do. There's something different about Leo. He hasn't once tried to touch me, but is that because he's been told not to touch me untilhegets here? But it's been over a week, and he's not here, so how long is he keeping me here? Then I think about him telling me that I can leave whenever I want to. He's asking about my health, he helps me clean up after dinner when he gets home, that's when I feel like there's something different about him.

I don’t know what to do.

“Hope, are you ready to go?”

I stand up and follow Leo out of the restaurant, and we make our way down the street. I quickly jump close to Leo as a huge group of men walk out of a building, but the moment I grab Leo, I let go of him.

"Sorry," I whisper to him and move out of the way. But I feel surrounded, and I don't have a way out. I don't know this part of the city. I never came here. I only went from my apartment to work and to CVS. I never went anywhere else, and if I did, it was at night to give me the time to get used to the surroundings. So now I feel trapped and there's no way out for me.

I feel Leo grab my arm and pull me to the side with him, into a small alley.

“Breathe, I’m here and won’t let anything happen to you. You need to hold my arm until we get to a quieter place, you hold it, but don’t say sorry.”

I take a deep breath and follow him out, and with a shaking hand, I grab his arm as the sidewalks are getting busier. I can feel a panic attack coming; this is not me, this isn't part of the rules. I've lived with rules for over ten years. I know them, I live by them. This is new and I can't, Idon’tknow how to live like this.

“Taxi!” Leo shouts. The moment one pulls up, he opens the door for me. “I shouldn’t have taken you to the restaurant. I know how you feel about too many people.”

I sit next to him and start peeling the skin off my hands. My body tenses up when Leo takes my hand in his.

“Please, can I get my doctor to look at you? The doctor is my mother, someone I trust, someone I know that won’t hurt you and I’ll be in the room with you.” Leo rubs my hand with his thumb.

I pull my hand from his. “It’ll be fine,” I say and lean my head on the window and close my eyes for a moment.

Leo doesn't say anything to me for the rest of the way back to his house, and I’m happy about that too.

* * *

The moment we get back to Leo’s house we have our lunch. I have my usual forkful. Leo made me sit with him the whole time. I know what he was doing; he was thinking staring at my food would make me want to eat more, but it didn’t.

Lying on the floor, I stare at the blank wall in front of me. Thinking about things that I shouldn't be thinking about; things that still make my skin crawl, that still make me sick to the stomach.

I feel my eyes getting tired; not sleeping is getting to be too much. It’s not the nightmares keeping me awake, it’s the pain of my joints, the pain of my skin peeling and the cold is making it worse.

I sit up quickly, feeling Leo close. "I didn't even make a noise; how did you know I was here?" I move closer to the window to look at the lights outside. Leo sits down next to me. "Jackson is coming over for dinner, and then after, I have to go out…" I go to stand up to get started on dinner, but Leo stops me. "Hey, sit down, you're not making dinner. Jackson will be bringing something. I want you to have a shower and enjoy your dinner."

Giving him a nod, I take in a deep breath and look out the window again, as I get myself ready to have a very painful shower.

Where there is no vision, there is hope.

CHAPTER12

LEO

“I don’t understandhow the fuck someone can just go missing.” Jackson lets off steam; he’s been in a fucked-up mood all day. I know that it’s all because we can’t findhimand it’s starting to really get to him now. But some of this anger has to do with work; it looks like he might lose his first court battle and that had him working a lot harder too.

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