Page 89 of Broken Doll

“Are we sleeping here?” Leo asks.

I close my eyes for a moment, just to get my thoughts out of the past. “Yes.” I know that I won’t be able to go to sleep, but I need to start trying. I need to do this for my baby.

Leo was right. He made love to me, and it felt like I was in heaven and I want to go there again with him.

CHAPTER34

LEO

Hope didn't sleepat all last night; she looked out of the window the whole time. I even got her to cuddle with me, hoping that would help her sleep but nothing. I wanted to stay awake with her, but my body and mind were both tired, and I slept for a few hours.

We didn't talk really after last night, and I didn't want to push it with her. Last night was a very big step for her, telling me how much she trusts me. For me, that was a way to say to me she will always be with me. She didn't have to say the words to me; I just felt it last night with her.

Hope and I have this connection that is not your simple soulmate thing. This is a connection that's not even physical. I mean the sex between us is incredible, she makes every fiber of my being stand to attention, and just thinking about her in my bed makes me hard. I love everything about her. But if she said she never wanted to have sex with me again, I would still love her. The connection we have is so pure, so true, so emotional, and so powerful, that no matter what it will never break.

* * *

The doctor's appointment went really well, our baby should be making their appearance early July, and when Hope saw the baby on the screen, I could see the tears of joy in her eyes, which didn't once leave the screen as she watched the doctor checking to make sure everything was okay. I smiled more that second; the joy that was in her eyes is a moment I won't forget.

We pick up all her new medication, and the doctor has double checked that everything will be safe for our child. Then, as instructed by the doctor, we pick up some vitamins and a book about pregnancy. The doctor spoke to Hope peacefully, about why it was a good idea to read the books, how she would be able to prepare herself for everything. Hope was a prisoner, so a lot of the things she should have learned at school were never taught to her.

We stand in the bookstore, and I realize that there are a lot of books out there about what to expect with pregnancy and neither one of us knows which one to buy, so I decided to just buy them all. Hope says that we only need one or two, but I'm not taking any chances. It won't just be Hope reading them but me too. I’m going to make sure that Hope has a stress free pregnancy.

“Shall we get some lunch before we meet Jackson at home?”

“Can we have a hot dog?” she asks as she moves closer to me; we’re getting to a busier part of the city. “I’ve never had one.” Her voice comes out quiet. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for her to get the confidence to walk around the city alone, but one day she’ll do it without even thinking about it.

"Sure." She's been quiet all day and to be honest, I'm not really in the talking mood. Today is going to put an end to a five-year hunt for a man that made my life hell. If I lose today, then I've lost it all, he'll never be in front of me again.

I’ve been working on other ideas where I don’t have to put Hope in danger, but not one thing is coming to me, nothing to even give me a one percent chance of winning. Everything I think of ends with him walking away with Hope. So, not only do I lose the woman and child I love but the man I want dead.

"Do you want to buy some clothes? You haven't really bought any since I got you some," I say as I pay the vendor for the hot dogs. We continue to walk as Hope takes a bite of her hot dog. Even if she eats half of that, I'll be happy. She might not eat a full meal yet, but she's eating a lot more than when we first had dinner together.

Her eyes widen, and she grins. "This is really nice," she says through a mouthful.

I laugh heartily at her expression. Amazing how such things can be so normal to some but a huge thing to others. "Good to know, we can get another one later." I bring my thumb and wipe off the mustard from her lip. "Clothes?'

“No, thank you.” She moves her focus to the distance but quickly steps closer to me as a loud group of men start walking to the store behind me. I wrap my arm around her as we continue along the street back to the house. I could have asked John to drive us, but I figure if she starts walking around the city with me it will help her a little.

We walk back to the house in silence, and my mind goes back to the conversation with my parents this morning, how I wasn't expecting it and it took me by surprise.

They told me that Hope and I should get married now that we’re having a baby and I said no to that straight away. I told them that neither one of us is ready to get married; at the moment I don’t think either one of uswantsto get married. I know I don't, or I didn't until Hope, but still, I don't think marrying someone because they're having your baby is the best move.

My dad saw through that. I mean I wasn’t lying about it. I do feel that way, but my dad called me out on it and asked for the rest of the story once my mom and Hope went into the kitchen.

I told him that I love Hope and I will never let anything happen to her and will fight for her every day for the rest of my life, but at the moment I’m scared.

Scared that I don't have any connection to the baby, all my focus is on Hope, making sure that she's okay. I love her so much that the thought of having to share her or the thought of her having to go through pain when she gives birth is giving me pain, I never thought I would feel. My reasons went on for a while, and they all revolved around Hope, not the baby, but Hope.

My dad started laughing, laughing so hard that he had tears coming from his eyes. Once he finally stopped, he sat next to me and told me not every man connects with their baby until they're born and in their arms, which I thought sounded right. And when it came to Hope his words were: The amount you love that girl, you get married, or you don't, she'll be the only woman to take your heart and no matter what, no one, not even a baby will affect that. He also said I needed to stop worrying about it, that Hope and I will be fine, as we're made for each other.

When we were at the doctors, I looked at our baby, and I felt so happy, but again, all I wanted was to look at Hope and know how she was with all this. So, I do pray my dad is right, and I connect with the baby once it's born.

* * *

My heart is pounding; my skin is damp from sweat. I’m not scared forme, I’m scared that I can’t protect Hope and Jack will take her. I can’t let him take her again.

"Are we all ready for this?" Jackson asks as I pull Hope closer to me.

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