Page 82 of Awakened in September (Sleepless November Saga 4)

“Where are we going?”

I watch her closely as the next words leave my mouth. “Out to breakfast.”

The stutter in her breathing is obvious and instantly tells me I’m right. Still, I want to give her the benefit of the doubt before accusing her of relapsing, so I wait for her to answer.

“I don’t want to.” She says so low I almost don’t even hear it.

I exhale. “I thought you might say that.” Going over to the bag I placed on the desk, I pull out the muffin – watching her eyes widen when she sees it. “Eat this.”

She looks at the breakfast item like it’s diseased and gently takes it from my hands. It seems as if she’s fighting some type of huge battle in her head before she brings it to her mouth to take a bite. Just before her lips touch it, she stops. My head drops when I realize I can no longer deny it. She’s back into a full-blown eating disorder.

“How long?” I ask, sitting next to her but she won’t look at me.

“Since the party.”

Tears start to build in my eyes, so I look up at the ceiling to keep them from spilling. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kayleigh.” My voice is stern. “Why?” Her silence is enough to tell me she isn’t going to answer on her own. “Was it because of me?”

“Not exactly.” She mumbles.

“Because of her? That girl you saw me with?”

“Yes.”

I can’t sit still any longer. I get up and begin to pace around the room. This is all my fault. She was doing so well and we had made so much progress getting her into recovery. Not only did I hurt her by making out with someone else, but I ruined everything she has worked so hard for. I’m such a horrible person.

“Okay, well we need to get you back on track – starting with this muffin.”

Within a millisecond, she goes from calm yet ashamed to a complete and total panicked state. Her eyes dart between me and the muffin repeatedly as her breathing becomes strained. I fall to my knees in front of her and knock the muffin onto the floor just to get it out of her sight.

“Baby. Babe. Breathe. Look at me.” I place my hands on her face. “You’re fine. Everything is good, yeah? There’s nothing to worry about.”

Nothing I say is getting through to her as her body is racked with sobs and struggled breaths. I climb onto the bed and get behind her, wrapping my arm around her to pull her close. I run my fingers through her hair and wait for her to relax. It takes a while, but finally her breathing stabilizes.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpers, placing a kiss on my hand.

“You don’t need to apologize. This is bigger than you. I’m just not sure if I’m enough to help you beat it.”

THAT NIGHT, AFTER SPENDING the whole day together, Kayleigh ends up falling asleep on my bed. Once I got her to my house, I managed to get her to eat some fruit and a salad, but it’s not nearly enough calories for what she needs. I never imagined only a few days would make this much of a difference. She’s right back where she started.

I grab my phone and sneak out of the bedroom, dialing the number of the one person who may be able to help me with this. It’s only 10 PM so she should still be awake. Thankfully, the bathroom is unoccupied, so I slip in there for privacy. Kayleigh would kill me if she heard me talking to someone about this.

“Hello?” My sister answers with a chuckle.

“Hey Jo. You got a minute?”

Her laughter cuts off immediately and I hear her the background noise fade. “Everything okay? It sounds serious.”

“Well, I mean everything is fine, per say, but it is serious.”

“Okay. What’s up?”

I take a deep breath. “What do you know about eating disorders?”

A small gasp comes through the phone. “A friend of mine had one at one point. She’s better now though. Why?”

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