Page 36 of Awakened in September (Sleepless November Saga 4)

“Face it, babe. You fell in love, and it wasn’t with the girl you were supposed to.”

“I don’t do love. You should know that better than anyone.”

She stands and fixes her shirt. “I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, but you may want to work on that. It doesn’t sound believable at all.”

The words get stuck in my throat as she turns around and smugly leaves the bar. Even my ex can tell I have feelings for Kayleigh. It’s only a matter of time until everyone else figures it out. That can only mean one thing – I’m completely fucked.

Chapter Twelve

I dance behind my girlfriend, feeling frustrated when I don’t get turned on. I’ve had no problem sleeping with her before, but now whenever I try, I can’t seem to get into it. At first, I thought it was just Laci’s words getting to me, until I quickly figured out that wasn’t it. Bree’s hair doesn’t smell like vanilla, and she doesn’t look at me with honey brown eyes. The truth of the matter is, she’s not Kayleigh.

TUESDAY MORNING COMES QUICKLY and I barely got any sleep the night before. We should be getting our projects back today, and while I’ve always been one to worry about my grades – I think I’m more nervous about seeing Kayleigh. I haven’t so much as gotten a glance at her in the last week, though that’s mainly been my choice.

I walk into class, but once again, she isn’t there. It’s not like her to skip one class, let alone two in a row. I assumed she would just go back to being cold and ignoring me as much as she could. Those thoughts didn’t include the possibility that she would miss class to avoid me.

Professor Bradley hands out the projects, but stops when he gets to me. “She still sick?” He asks, and all I can do is shrug. “Well, good work.”

I look down at the paper in front of me and see a big red A written in the corner. It helps my mood slightly, but not enough. However, it at least gives me a reason to go see her, even if she doesn’t want me there.

ATTEMPTING TO SIT THROUGH the rest of my classes was a stupid idea. I realize this thirty minutes into Chemistry. The only thing I can think of is going to see Kayleigh. I excuse myself and head there now instead of waiting. I just hope she’s home.

When I get to the door, I can hear soft music playing in the room. I already know Bree is at class, since I walked her there myself, so it must be Kayleigh. I lift my hand and knock lightly on the door. A few seconds later, she opens it. When she sees it’s me, her eyes double in size.

“What are you doing here?” She questions in a tone that I didn’t expect.

I hold up the paper to show her, and she gasps – stepping backwards to open the door further. I step inside and wait for her to finish closing it. When she does, I hand her the project.

“I thought you’d want to see our grade.” I explain and watch as she looks over it. “I won’t stay though. I know the last thing you want to do is see me.”

She stays quiet and her lack of denying it intensifies my pain. However, as soon as my hand grabs the doorknob, she stops me.

“Holden, wait.” I turn around to face her. She puts down the report and messes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I was just pushing you away.”

Out of all the things I expected when I came here, an apology was not one of them. I can only think to ask one thing. “Why?”

A tear slides down her cheek but she quickly wipes it away, refusing to make eye contact. “Because I started to like you?” She sounds unsure, but her words speak for themselves. “I know it’s dumb but I couldn’t help it with the way you lit up every time you helped someone, and how honest and caring you are.” She rambles. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “But you’re with Bree, and I know you don’t want me so…”

I don’t listen to another word of what she’s saying. I lose complete control of my body and before I can stop myself, I’m walking towards her. As soon as she looks up, I grab her face – pressing my lips to hers and finally allowing myself to have what I’ve wanted for over a month now.

It takes a moment for her to react but she finally starts to kiss me back. She laces her fingers into my hair and tugs, showing she wants this just as bad as I do. A groan emits from the back of my throat. Unfortunately, the kiss doesn’t last anywhere close to long enough because she pulls away.

“Holden, stop.” She breathes. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

I halt in trying to kiss her, but keep my forehead against hers. I don’t want to separate from her just yet. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.” I pant.

She opens her eyes and looks up at me with complete innocence. “I know, but we can’t. You’re with Bree.”

The reality of the situation hits me and a sad smile spreads across my face. I pull away slightly and place a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll see you around.”

She stays motionless and doesn’t respond as I walk back to the door. I glance at her one more time. She’s surprised, but her face lacks any kind of anger or disapproval. The number of things I feel as I turn around and leave are immeasurable.

I GET BACK TO my place and immediately go to my room, shutting the door and throwing myself on my bed. I take out my phone and hit speed dial two. Impatiently, I wait for an answer on the other end.

“Hey H.” Brandon greets me.

“I kissed her.” I blurt out.

“Uh, what? Kissed who?”

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