“You’re not going anywhere.” Caleb steps in front of me. I try to get past him but he pushes me back. “You’re way too drunk and it wouldn’t do any good right now.”

“You don’t understand! I have to explain!”

There’s no use. Neither of them will budge. I sit down on the lawn and run my fingers through my hair, completely ignoring the freezing cold temperatures outside. The fact that I may have fucked this up is sickening. Within seconds, I’m turning to vomit the contents of my stomach onto the grass.

I DON’T END UP falling asleep until nearly four in the morning. Kayleigh?

??s two makeshift bodyguards wouldn’t let me leave to go find her, and they also wouldn’t let me keep drinking. Therefore, I spent the rest of the night throwing up and moping about how everything has quickly turned to shit. I even tried calling and texting her, but haven’t received a response.

The sound of my alarm wakes me up at 7 AM. I sit up abruptly and grab my phone. As I go to get dressed, I trip over Dawson sleeping on my floor. He groans then chuckles when he sees me fall.

“Fucking seriously? You had to sleep here?”

He shrugs. “Had to make sure you didn’t try to leave in the middle of the night.”

I roll my eyes and grab a sweatshirt to pull over my head. “Well, it’s not the middle of the night anymore. Am I still on lockdown, dad?”

“Are you still drunk?”

“No. I may have been wasted, but I’m not an amateur.”

A small laugh leaves his mouth and he nods. “Then you’re free to go.”

I grab my keys from the desk and run down to my car. I don’t even know where she is. There is only one place I can think that she would go. It’s the absolute last place I want to show up at, but she’s too important to let anything stand in my way.

On the way over, I think about the talk I had with Dawson last night. Despite him keeping me from chasing after Kayleigh, he’s not half bad. He clearly just wants whatever is best for her. He’s a good friend and she deserves to have someone like him.

I pull up to the dorm building I haven’t been at in almost a month. In my haste to get to her, I nearly forget to turn off my car. I run inside and up the stairs, pounding on the door before I can stop myself. I’m starting to wonder if they’re even going to answer, when it swings open to reveal my very angry looking ex-girlfriend.

“What do you want, Holden?” She spits.

“Is Kayleigh here?” I practically beg.

Her hesitation tells me she is before Bree even answers. She looks back into the room and then back at me. “She doesn’t want to see you.”

Okay, no. There is no way I’m taking that as an answer. I push past her and into the room, blocking out the sound of her screaming at me to get out. Kayleigh is sitting on her bed and the first thing I notice is how obvious it is that she spent the whole night crying. There’s a pain in my chest when I realize I caused this.

“Shit, Kayleigh. I’m so sorry.” I lunge to hug her but she pushes me away. It hurts but I should have expected it.

“Go away, Holden.”

No. Fuck. No. This can’t be happening.

“Please. We need to talk about this.”

“I don’t need to do anything except get ready for work.” She sasses. “Just go.”

I bite my lip as I try to think of what to say. “Will you come home after?”

“I am home.” The words come out of her mouth and cut me like razor blades.

Attempting to compose myself, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The reality is she doesn’t want to see me right now, and my being here is only causing her more pain and suffering. She wants some space and I need to give it to her. My eyes start to water and one tear manages to escape.

“Okay. Well, I’m sorry, and when you’re ready, I hope you’ll come talk to me.”

I walk backwards towards the door, keeping my eyes on Kayleigh and trying to burn the image of her into my memory. Bree is yelling something at me, but I don’t care to pay attention. I reluctantly leave the room and head back down to my car.

MY ROOM IS WAY too small. It feels like everything is crashing down around me and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I see the notebook containing the details of the big date sitting on my desk and something in me snaps. My hands grip the book and throw it harshly across the room. When that doesn’t satisfy my anger enough, I flip over my desk. Everything goes flying and crashing against the walls. The more I destroy, the angrier I get. How could I have been so stupid to fuck this up?!