Page 61 of Endless December (Sleepless November Saga 2)

"Babe, you're going to have to leave the house eventually." Holden tells me as he turns on the shower.

"Eventually." I shout back. "As in like a year from now when everyone has forgotten my existence."

For the last few days, he's been acting strangely. I don't know if he's fed up with me not wanting to get out of bed, or if something else has been on his mind – but he keeps trying to get me to leave. However, the only time I did, I attempted to go back to my dorm and couldn't handle all the stares and whispers. It ended with me having yet another anxiety attack, and Holden needing to pick me up.

He's in the middle of taking a shower when his phone vibrates. Reaching over, I glance at it and see something that stops my breathing.

Coach: Your drug test came back clean.

Though I expected nothing less.

My heart starts to pound within my chest, making me feel like I'm going to be sick. No wonder why he's been acting weird. Not only has this train wreck had an impact on my life, but it's messed with Holden's too. He doesn't deserve to have to deal with this.

By the time that Holden gets out of his shower and comes back into the bedroom, I'm already up, dressed, and brushing my hair. He eyes me curiously as I do my best to make myself look presentable.

"Going somewhere?" He questions.

I nod. "Yeah. I was going to go over to Skylar's and help her with some wedding planning."

He looks as if he wants to question it, but ultimately decides not to. "Okay, babe. Well, have fun. I love you."

"I love you, too." I reply, kissing him once and leaving the room - just before I begin to cry.

SKYLAR PLAYS WITH THE different color swatches as I vent about all the things going on in my life. When she heard out about Jade's video, Dawson had to keep her from scouring the dorms until she found the right one. Between her, Bree, Dawson, and Holden – they've been the ones to get me through this. I honestly don't know where I'

d be without them.

"He had to take a drug test, Sky. A drug test." I whine.

"Yeah, but he doesn't do any drugs. No harm, no foul."

I toss myself backwards on to her bed. "That's not the point! My bad decisions are affecting his life. That's not fair to him. It's no surprise he's been acting differently. He doesn't deserve this."

She drops what's in her hands and focuses her full attention on me. "I think you may be reading a little too far into it, hun. He loves you."

"He loves sober me. His feelings for known past drug addict Kayleigh, may be a bit different."

"Hardly. Are you forgetting who brought you to the rehab in the first place?"

"Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean his feelings didn't change when the entire school found out he's dating a coke-head."

"Former coke-head. And okay, so let's play your game. He completely regrets getting back with you because your ex-friend is a see-you-next-Tuesday. Now what?"

I whine, pulling on my hair before rolling onto my side. "I don't know, but can I sleep here tonight?"

She smiles sadly and kisses her finger before pressing it to the tip of my nose. "Of course."

THE FOLLOWING NIGHT, I'M sitting at Skylar's alone, scrolling through TV channels on the guide. Her and Dawson went out to dinner a half an hour ago. It isn't until Holden texts me that he wants to take me out, that I finally get off the couch. Despite the dreading feeling that he's going to break up with me, I search through Sky's closet for something to wear.

I settle on a pale pink dress that accents my natural curves. I figure, if I'm wearing something that makes me look good, he might second guess his decision. Not that I would blame him if he does end things– he deserves someone so much better.

Just as I'm finishing curling my hair, Holden calls to let me know he's outside. I take a deep breath to compose myself before walking out the door and down the stairs. Climbing into the car, I buckle my seatbelt and turn to my boyfriend nervously.

"Wow. You look gorgeous."

A smile tugs at my lips as he leans over and kisses me. "Thank you." I answer. "So, where are we going? Somewhere far, I hope?"

"Well, first we have to stop back at my place. I forgot something there."

---