Page 52 of Endless December (Sleepless November Saga 2)

We each follow the instructions exactly the way we're told. I'm glad for the distraction, because it gives me something to focus on other than my boyfriend and our potential problem. However, Holden’s growing suspicious.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" He questions impatiently.

I try my best to pla

y it off. "I told you, nothing's wrong. Can we please just focus on this? I don't want to mess it up."

"But messing us up is no big deal." He mumbles under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

I must admit, I hate when we're like this. I don't know how else to be right now, though. How can I tell him I might be pregnant? I haven't even figured out how to deal with that myself yet. What if he freaks out? I don't think I could handle him yelling at me. I don't think I'd make it through that without a serious mental breakdown.

Still, he deserves to know. If I am, it would be his, and that means he would be involved in any decision making. Even the thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Why can't things be simple like they were last year? Funnily enough, nothing was simple last year – but I'd go back to that kind of complicated over this in a heartbeat.

We all pack up our things and head toward the door. Holden follows closely behind me. I find myself wanting to cling to him and run away all at the same time. Just as we get out the door, he grabs my wrist.

"Are you coming home with me?"

I feign disappointment. "I can't. I promised Skylar I'd help her with wedding planning."

He narrows his eyes at me. "You've been doing that for the past three days. The wedding is what, nine months away? I think she can handle one day without you."

"It takes a lot to plan, and I already promised her I'd be there."

"Whatever." He scoffs and starts to walk away but after a few steps, he stops. "Is that really where you're going to be?"

I cross my arms defensively. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, are you really going to be at Skylar's or are you just lying like you did half of last year?"

"Wow." I reply in disbelief. "So that's what you think? That I'm back on drugs?"

He throws his hands in the air. "I don't know what the hell to think. One minute you're all over me, and the next you couldn't be further away. What am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to trust me!" I stop and take a deep breath, then step backwards. "I'm not dealing with this right now. I'll see you later."

Ignoring the calls of my name, I walk away and leave him alone to think about what he just accused me of. If he only knew what I'm really dealing with, would he still be this irrational? Probably. It may even be worse.

I cannot believe he thinks I relapsed. I mean, I did in a way, but not with cocaine. I just haven't been hungry. The stress of everything piling on top of me has made food the last thing on my mind. That's not what he was referring to though, and I'm not about to volunteer that information. Instead, I'll just walk toward my dorm and hope Dawson can come pick me up.

BREE STANDS IN FRONT of me, gaping. It looks as if she's having an intense internal debate and losing desperately. Finally, after five minutes of opening and closing her mouth, she speaks.

"I'm sorry. You what?!"

"Might be pregnant." Skylar answers as if it's obvious. "Come on, Bree. Try to keep up."

She glares at Sky, showing she obviously heard the first time but had hoped she was wrong. Skylar giggles and hides behind one of the many pillows piled on her bed as Bree throws a pen at her. She walks over and climbs onto the bed next to me.

"How do you know?"

"I'm over a week late."

"Okay, but have you taken a test?"

I shake my head. "I've been too scared. I can't even bring myself to tell Holden."

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