Page 31 of Endless December (Sleepless November Saga 2)

Bree's eyes widen as Holden laughs. "God, no." She says, slightly disgusted.

Holden looks at Dawson. "She is the female equivalent of you. Lack of a filter and all."

"I know." He answers dreamily.

Despite Bree's answer, I can't help but wonder if there is some truth behind Skylar's assumption. The last time I've seen them look at each other like there was some big secret, was when they were together. What if they did hook up again? It's not like I could be mad about girl code. Hell, Holden cheated on her with me. What makes me think he wouldn't do the same to me? The thought is nauseating and eats me alive.

TWO DAYS PASS AND I still can't get the idea of Holden and Bree out of my head. Dawson, being the intuitive and nosy person he is, takes notice and asks me about it while we close on Friday night.

"Are you alright? You've seemed off lately."

I shrug, knowing he'd be able to see right through a lie. "I guess. I don't know."

He dips his head down to make me look at him. "Is this about Bree and Holden?" I nod. "Do you really think they did something? I mean Holden seems crazy about you, and Bree is one of your best friends."

Picking up a mug and drying it to busy myself, I avoid eye contact with him. "You didn't know her when she was with him. He was her entire world. And if Holden is so crazy about me, why is he yet to bring up what's going on with us?"

Dawson sighs and opens his arms to give me a hug. I go willingly, swallowing down the lump in my throat and trying not to cry. He rubs my back as I rest my head on his shoulder. I didn't know how bad I needed this. For a moment, I get lost in the comfort.

He moves his hand to my head and starts caressing it lightly. I sniffle as a few tears stream down my face and hit his shirt.

"Crap. Sorry." I murmur, pulling my head away.

He frowns just slightly, putting his hands on my face and using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I let out a small breath as we stand there, just staring at each other. His eyes glance down at my lips and then back up, and I can't help but do the same.

Just as I think he's about to move in, the two of us break out into hysterical laughter. Dawson ends up on the floor, rolling around and holding his stomach, as I hold onto the end of the counter. The more I think about it, the more I laugh. Thank God that didn't happen. Kissing Dawson would be like kissing my cousin – awkward and wrong.

The two of us change out of our uniforms and into clothes more suited for a party. We lock the doors to Dolce before climbing into his car. As I check my hair in the mirror, Dawson puts the car in drive and pulls out onto the road.

"Are Sky and Bree there already?"

He nods. "Yeah. Sky said they got there about 20 minutes ago." When I don't respond, he glances at me to make sure I'm alright. "Hey, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Don't overthink it."

I snort. "Have you met me? Overthinking part of my daily routine."

"Good point. But really, let's not jump to any conclusions. Okay?"

"Okay."

My answer is forced, and I think he knows that. Thankfully, he doesn't mention it. If I'm being honest, the thought of Holden and Bree rekindling last year's romance makes me feel like my world is collapsing. I know that I all but stole him from her, but her and I weren't nearly as close then as we are now. I don't know if I would be able to stay here if that happens.

We pull up to the party, needing to park a little down the street due to all the cars. How they don't get the cops called on them constantly is a question I ask myself every weekend. They're the best parties on campus, and everyone knows it.

Dawson and I get out of the car and walk down the sidewalk, towards the party. Knowing I'm about to see Holden again, my heart starts to race and my palms become sweaty. It's crazy that he can still have this effect on me, even with everything we've been through. I don't understand how this is the same guy I used to despise with every fiber of my being.

"Go find Bree and Skylar. I'm just going to put my purse in Holden's room." I say as soon as we get inside.

He nods, and the two of us split up – him going into the kitchen as I go upstairs. I walk down the long hallway to my ex's room. I move the vase on the table to retrieve the key, but when I'm about to put it in the lock, the door opens.

"Oh, hey. You scared me." Bree says, her breathing unsteady.

My eyebrows furrow as I wonder what she was doing. "Where's Skylar?"

She runs her fingers through her hair nervously. "Downstairs, I think. You haven't seen her?"

"No." I reply hesitantly. "I just got here."

"Oh, that makes sense." I ignore her, and walk into Holden's room. She senses the awkwardness, and in typical Bree manner, she looks around nervously. "I'll, uh, meet you downstairs. Okay?"

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