Page 16 of Sleepless November (Sleepless November Saga 1)

THE NEXT FEW DAYS pass without Holden coming by the dorm room at all. He comes to pick up Bree, but calls her when he’s outside. Thankfully, he didn’t tell her exactly why he doesn’t want to come inside. I’m glad because I don’t think Bree would be very happy with me, and she’s all I have here.

I’m sitting on my bed, writing in my food journal, when there is a knock at my door. I put away the journal and walk over to the door. I’m surprised when I open it to find Holden standing there.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, though I can’t deny, I missed him.

He holds up our sociology project paper. It has a big red A written in the top corner. I had skipped class to avoid him. Apparently, it wasn’t very effective. I open the door further, allowing him to come inside, and close it behind him.

“I thought you’d want to see our grade.” He says, handing me the paper. I take it from him and look it over. “I won’t stay though, I know the last thing you want to do is see me.”

I can’t handle the way he looks hurt by his own words. I’ve been a total bitch, and here he is still caring about me and what I want. He walks towards the door and is about to open it when I speak.

“Holden, wait.” He stops and turns to me. I place the report on my desk and fiddle with my sleeves. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I was just pushing you away.”

“Why?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

I wipe the one stray tear from my cheek, still looking down. I can’t believe I’m going to admit this. “Because I started to like you?” It comes out sounding more like a question. “I know it’s dumb, but I couldn’t help it with the way you lit up every time you helped someone, and how honest and caring you are. But you’re with Bree, and I know you don’t want me, so I’m just distancing myself so that…”

I hear him walk towards me, causing me to pause in the middle of my rant. I look up and before I know it, his hands are on my face and his lips are pressed against mine.

Chapter Seven

Holden’s mouth against my own feels like paradise. He holds my face with such care as he kisses me passionately. I start to move my lips with his, embracing the feeling of it. My fingers weave through his soft hair and I tug lightly, causing him to groan into my mouth. Finally, the reality of what’s happening shocks me.

“Holden, stop.” I say, breathless. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

He stays with his forehead touching mine. The sound of our labored breathing fills the room. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself.”

I open my eyes and look up at him through my lashes. “I know, but we can’t. You’re with Bree.”

He smiles sadly and kisses my forehead before stepping away. “I’ll see you around.”

I stay silent, wondering if that even actually happened. With one last look, Holden leaves. I raise my hand to my lips – the feeling of him lingers.

What have I just done?

I KNEW IT WOULD be awkward, seeing Bree after kissing her boyfriend. However, I didn’t know I’d be overcome with such guilt. The more I see her, the worse I feel. It’s been two days since Holden flipped my entire world upside down. Thankfully, I haven’t seen him at all. I don’t know how I would get through seeing him and Bree together. It’s eating me up inside.

“Ugh!” Bree groans, throwing her phone down on

her bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask, looking up from my computer to see her angered expression.

She rolls her eyes. “Taylor’s sick and can’t come to the party tonight. And Holden will be busy with the pledges, so I’ll be left on my own.”

I frown at her and mumble a half-hearted apology, then refocus on my computer. The bed dips next to me, causing me to look up. Brianna is giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

“What?” I ask, hoping she’s not going to ask what I’m thinking she will.

“Well, I wouldn’t be alone if you came with me.” She blinks, making it that more effective.

Fuck.

“No. Not happening. I hate those parties.” I can’t. I can’t see Holden, especially not with Bree.

“Please!” She begs, stretching out the first e. “I don’t want to be alone, and you had fun last time.”

I want to put my foot down, but my guilt pushes me to agree. “Fine.”

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