Page 44 of Returning to Rockport

“Colton.” I breathe, saying his name like a prayer.

“Yeah Princess?”

“Fuck me.”

He kisses me again, only harder this time. He grips my thighs so tight I think he may leave bruises. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s enough to remind me he’s there. When my hands move to his belt buckle, he stops me.

“Not here.”

“What?”

Letting out a long exhale, he braces himself on the counter and bows his head down – trying to calm himself. “I haven’t had you in four years. I’ll be damned if the first time I get to be with you aga

in is in a dirty bathroom while we’re both too drunk to think clearly.”

His words cause me to suddenly feel stone cold sober. The reality of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks. We’re somewhere that looks like it could give me hepatitis if I touch the wrong thing. My diamond engagement ring is so out of place in the filthy room. When my mind finally goes to Parker, a pain shoots through my chest.

“Get out.” I all but whisper.

“McKenna, don’t do this.”

“Get! Out!”

He takes a step back as I shout in his face. The internal debate he’s going through is obvious as he tries to decide if he should leave the room or try to come closer again. When his eyes meet mine, he must realize there’s nothing he can say to change my mind.

“Fuck!” He screams, at no one in particular, and swings his closed fist right into the paper towel dispenser. Then, he storms out of the room, leaving me alone to process what the hell just happened.

11

COLTON

I stare down at the dozens of text messages I’ve sent McKenna. Each one has gone unanswered. Judging by the way she is when it comes to her phone, there’s only one logical reason – she’s avoiding me, again.

After we shared that kiss at her parents’ house, I knew I’d fucked up. It didn’t surprise me when she wouldn’t answer my calls the next day. But Monday night, that was something else. Going into that bathroom was entirely her idea. Yet still, she’s gone radio silent.

I get it, or at least I think I do. She’s getting married. In what I assume is only a few months away, judging by the way Tatum is frantically throwing everything together, she’ll be vowing to devote her life to someone else. I won’t lie – the thought sucks. Parker seems like a decent guy, despite being some British trust fund brat, but the thought of his hands on her body sends me into a jealous rage. The only person that should be able to touch her like that is me, and for a while, I was the only one who could.

The summer we spent together before she left for college was everything from my wildest dreams. We had a chemistry between us that burned hotter than the sun. Whenever her eyes met mine, she had this look in them that made me feel like I was invincible. I was ready to give her everything she wanted in life, but when the time came to make it real, I panicked.

Maverick has been my best friend since I was ten years old. He’s my brother for all intents and purposes. When I tried to imagine the look on his face after finding out I’d been screwing his sister behind his back, it was enough to send me running for the hills. I did the one thing I never thought I would – I walked away from McKenna and left her crying on her bedroom floor.

By the time that I realized what a monumental mistake I’d made, it was too late. She had already left for NYU. My calls and texts wouldn’t go through. Her social media was no longer visible to me. The message was clear; she was moving on with her life, and I was no longer welcome in it.

I’d waited for her to reappear but as holidays and summers came and went, she never showed. Maverick would mention something in passing about how she was in some foreign country on a relief program. Her actions were noble, there’s no denying that, but I knew her reasoning for not coming home. The only thing I could do was respect her decision and stay away.

Despite how much I told myself it would never happen, that I had lost her, I still couldn’t seem to move on. There was always a part of me that held other women in comparison to McKenna, and let’s be real here, there is no comparing to her. They all lacked the ability to make me smile just by being in the room. They didn’t have the jade green eyes she had, and even if they did, their’s didn’t shine as bright. So, after a few pitiful attempts at finding someone else, I gave up.

The day Maverick told me McKenna got engaged was the day my chest cracked wide open. He mentioned it like it was just another day, but his words knocked the wind out of me. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew it was a possibility. I guess a part of me just still held out hope that her and I would end up together.

I spent a few days avoiding everyone whenever I could and it didn’t go unnoticed. I was an asshole at work, barking orders at my employees like they were all incompetent fucks that couldn’t do their jobs correctly. After one particularly rough day where I put my fist through a newly built wall, Roman shoved me into his truck and drove us to the bar. For the first time ever, I told someone about the four months I spent with my best friend’s sister.

Being as Rome has been Maverick’s friend just as long as he’s been mine, I half expected him to punch me in the face and ask me how I could do something so stupid. So, imagine my surprise when he just smiled at me and chuckled like he already knew. He didn’t – or at least he didn’t know I acted on it – but he had his suspicions.

When I walked into the living room to find McKenna sitting there, looking as gorgeous as ever, it was like everything came to life again. Colors that had gone so dull became so vibrant. Without even realizing it, she was thawing out my frozen heart. Then, I met her fiancé.

I tried to keep my composure but I failed, miserably. The moment I realized that McKenna had never mentioned me to him, it felt as if someone doused me with a bucket of ice water. Did what we have mean so little to her that she didn’t even think to say anything about it? No, that couldn’t be it. She wanted a relationship with me. The only reason that didn’t happen was because of my own fear and stupidity.

The morning she almost burned herself on the broken coffee pot, I knew. My name slipped from her tongue the same way it always did. The connection her and I shared hadn’t gone anywhere. If anything, it was stronger. All the time we spent away from each other did nothing to extinguish the flame that burned between us. Yet still, she was engaged.

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