Page 60 of Beautiful Sinner

A babe in the woods.

A woman who ripped at the demons.

And God help me, she could be my salvation.

CHAPTER13

Giada

Tears of anger.

Tears of sadness.

Tears of uncertainty.

They burned, stinging my eyes. Even though I’d told myself that nothing about the man or his world would make me tear up in front of him, I couldn’t hold back the emotions. At least I could keep my head turned away from him during the ride, trying to concentrate on the lush scenery instead of thinking about what he’d said.

Could he possibly give a damn about me? I’d asked it before, the answer far too complicated. And now? I still wasn’t certain I could trust him.

Or myself.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but that wouldn’t make anything better. A part of me was ready to humiliate myself begging for another life. At this point I didn’t care what it looked like, just not the one I’d been born into.

Had men really found a way onto the island, or had he been trying to scare me? If it was true, what did Sevastian do to them? Torture them into talking? Or just shoot them? As I closed my eyes, I remembered more than one occasion my father hadn’t stopped when I’d come into the room. He’d allowed me to see the horrors of his world. My world. I’d never wanted to be treated like a girl, inferior to my brothers, yet when faced with the ugly truth, I simply couldn’t handle it.

Sadly, he was right. I’d pretended I’d lived in a world far removed from violence, a glass house that could be crushed under the weight of a heavy boot at any time. I’d also believed that I could get away from a life that had no beginning and no end. I had to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a child.

I looked over at him, his eyes hidden behind the dark sunglasses. I wanted to hate him, but this was the only world he’d ever known. In this lifestyle, there was no righteous man, no ability for saints to be made out of sinners. I couldn’t expect him to change and there was no way out of this relationship.

Why was it that a huge part of me didn’t want to be? Why could I not get my mind off him?

After he’d almost confessed that he’d fallen in love with me, as he’d done before, he shut down. I’d finally felt close to him, if only for a little while. Then everything about him had changed.

“You will be punished.”

The four little words were frank, said with no emotion. He didn’t bother looking at me and there certainly wasn’t any remorse or guilt in his tone. My thoughts returned to the men he called assassins. Why would they be so bold? They had to know of Sevastian’s reputation. For the first time, I’d been able to see past his need for revenge, realizing the tormented man hadn’t lied to me. I’d worried him.

“I understand.”

“Do you?” he snapped, tilting his head slightly, allowing me to see his clenched jaw. “Do you know how I felt when I learned my security had been breached at the same time as finding out you weren’t in your room?”

“I… you don’t need to act as if you care about me, Sevastian.”

He laughed as he pulled into the estate. “It goes way beyond that now, Giada.”

“Are you going to punish that girl for leaving the door unlocked too? Maybe you have this sick need to humiliate her in front of the rest of your staff.”

His only reaction was to tighten his grip on the steering wheel. “She should be punished for being careless.”

“As I said, don’t be like your father.”

“Our fathers. You said like our fathers.”

I shuddered at the thought. “Yes, my father is just as brutal.”

“Then you and I are a lot more alike than we’d care to entertain.” He jerked the Jeep to a stop, jumping out while the vehicle was still rocking. The gun positioned in the middle of his back was just another reminder that my brothers were exactly like him. I’d been damn good at pretending otherwise.

“It was my fault entirely. I left.” I climbed out before he had to pull me out, waiting until he motioned for me to move forward. This wasn’t about sudden bravery or my usual state of rebellion. I simply didn’t have the energy left to fight him because it would do no good. He had been an expert at breaking me down, tearing apart the defenses I’d worked for years to form around me like a coat of armor.

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