29
Ash
I throwon some clothes quickly, jamming my glasses back onto my face as I think about River. My thoughts always seem to go to her these days.
Listening to the ragged sound of her sobs as she cried in my arms just about broke my heart. I’ve never seen her so vulnerable, and judging from the look on Priest’s face when I glanced at him over her head, I wasn’t the only one who would’ve done anything in that moment to ease her pain. I would’ve brought her the heads of every single one of her enemies on a platter if I could’ve—and usually, “romantic” gestures like that are Knox’s territory.
She seemed to feel better afterward, though, so I’m glad she let herself have that moment. It says a lot that she let us stay with her and offer whatever comfort we could instead of pushing us away, too. Maybe she’s finally starting to see what this is, what it could be.
And then, in the shower…
Holy shit.
God, I wanted to fuck her. Feeling her body all slippery and warm and wet. I know she knew I was hard against her, and it would have been so easy to press inside of her body and take her right there. I wanted to push Priest a little, too. To keep urging him back to the land of the living after he’s been basically encased in ice for so long.
Watching me fuck River in that shower would have brought some life back to him. Maybe he would have even been tempted to join in.
But I didn’t want to wreck things by pushing for too much too soon.
Honestly, it all feels a little fragile, like a flower trying to grow in the desert, and I’m determined to protect it. If that means I have to curb some of the things I want and take things slow, then I’ll do that, because I want this to work. Because I believe thiscanwork, and I’m not going to be the one who fucks it up by being impatient and forcing shit that people aren’t ready for.
I was patient when it came to fucking River in the first place. I can be patient now.
I leave my room, intending to head down to the kitchen and find some breakfast. River is in the hallway ahead of me, heading for the stairs herself. I catch up to her and stop her, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
For just a second, she goes tense, and then she melts against me, leaning back with a little sigh. I fucking love that. I love how she gives in, how she’s starting to accept the feelings between us.
No one has ever been able to get Priest to open up—not since Jade—but of course River did. We’ve all tried and failed, and ended up just accepting that he was never going to be the same again after losing the woman he loved, but River came in and made him feel shit again.
She’s just what he needed.
What all of us needed.
I lean in and kiss her neck, liking the fact that she smells like me, her skin scented with the same body wash that we all used in Priest’s shower. I kiss my way up to her ear and nip at it lightly, making her shiver against me.
“You know something, killer?” I murmur, my mouth still right there at her ear. “I’m really fucking glad you came into our lives.”
She turns and looks up at me, her eyes full of unspoken things. I can read her better now, though, and I think I know how she’s feeling.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the little knife that I usually keep on me. I flick it open with a little flourish, and then draw the blade down my palm, cutting it in a shallow line that bleeds sluggishly.
“Hold out your hand,” I tell her.
River looks from my hand to my face, scowling skeptically. She obviously knows what I’m going to do, but she holds her hand out anyway.
I cut her palm quickly, with that same shallow line, and then grip her hand in mine. With our blood mingling together, I kiss her, trying to put all my hope and feeling into it.
It’s not a deep kiss, but it’s loaded with meaning anyway. When our lips separate, I rest my forehead against hers, my mouth tugging into a smile. “Nobody is walking away from this now,” I tell her, then kiss her again.
Then, just because I can, I slap her ass.
What can I say? It’s a great ass.
River rolls her eyes, but there’s a bit of a spark in those dark blue depths now. More of that haunted dullness from before has faded, and I’m glad to see it.
I grin at her, she smiles back, and then we continue down the stairs to the kitchen.
Gage and Knox are already there, and Priest comes down a few minutes later, dry and dressed and more put together than he was before.