Page 61 of Queen of Anarchy (Dirty Broken Savages 2)

22

River

My head throbsas I come back to consciousness.

My body aches like I was in a fight, and I feel a little like I was run over by a truck from how heavy my chest is. It takes a second for everything that happened to wash over me, but when it does, it hits me in a rush. Vivid memories of following Julian and then getting jumped by his men crowd my mind.

I fought them, but it wasn’t enough.

They took me.

I wrench my eyes open and look around frantically, fear running through me as I realize that I’m chained up in a basement somewhere.

It would almost be funny how often this keeps happening to me, if it wasn’t so fucking terrifying.

This is worse than when the guys had me down in their basement, though. Then, I had no idea who they were, and it was just the situation that had me on edge. None of it was related to my past, and I was pretty sure I was going to be able to get out of it, even if I had to kill one or more of them to do it.

Now, I’m locked in a basement by the son of the man who actually held me captive when I was a teenager. Chained up by someone who looks enough like him that if he came down right now, it would be hard to tell the difference. And I have no idea what he wants with me. Probably to punish me for following him, but there are so many ways to do that. I don’t know what kind of person he is. I don’t know what he’ll do, and I hate that.

It’s like the two instances are layered over each other, my captivity from years ago and my captivity now, this basement blending with the one I was held in back when I was so young and helpless.

The chains feel the same, weighty and impossible to yank free from the wall. I’m different now, not the young, scared girl I was back then, but it’s harder to remember that fact when I’m in the same position. When I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I feel like I’ve been beaten to hell. I’m more aware than ever of how breakable human bodies are, how easy it is to snuff the life out of one, and it makes me feel fragile and helpless.

Hannah isn’t here this time.

It’s just me chained up down here, but too much of this feels the same as before.

I drag in shallow gulps of air, practically hyperventilating, spiraling into a panic attack faster than I have in years. My breaths come out short and fast, and I can feel my heartbeat in my throat.

No. No. I have to get out of here. I can’t be here.

No matter how hard I try to shove it down, wild anxiety rises in my chest, making my body feel hot and cold all at the same time.

It feels like I’m going to drown in it. Like it’s filling my lungs and making it impossible to breathe.

I yank against the chains, trying to do whatever I can to get free. My arms are held up at an angle, stretched out on either side, and it’s hard to get leverage, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. I feel something pull in one arm as I thrash in the chains, but that doesn’t stop me either.

I don’t care how hurt I get in the process, I just have to get out of here.

My voice sounds raw to my own ears, and there’s an almost involuntary chant of, “No. No. No. No, no, no, no,” spilling from my lips, ragged and desperate as I struggle.

I try the same trick I used to get out of the chains back at the guys’ house, trying to pull my hands free, but these shackles are too tight. Too well made. All I do is scrape up my wrists even more, and the blood that gathers isn’t enough to help work them out of the restraints.

“No,” I moan, clenching my hands into fists. “No, no, no.”

My cheeks are wet with tears, and I take deep, shuddering gasps, trying to keep myself from passing out again. If I pass out here, who knows what Julian will do to me?

I have to be able to fight back.

I have to be able to hold my own.

I can’t let him do this, whateverthisis.

I have to—

The sound of footsteps on the stairs catches my attention, and I stop moving. My pulse thunders in my chest, in my neck, in my head. I tense up, my jaw tight enough that my teeth grind together painfully.

I’m expecting it to be Julian, coming down to make his demands or taunt me or just flat out kill me. I expect to see that smug look on his face while he gloats over the fact that he figured out I was following him and managed to set me up.

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