Page 55 of Queen of Anarchy (Dirty Broken Savages 2)

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River

Our investigation continuesover the next few days, crawling at what feels like a snail’s pace.

There are a lot of names on the list, and there could be any number of reasons why one of them would have put Ivan’s body out like that. Gage has contacts he can talk to, people who can fetch info for him on the people we’re trying to scope out, but we still have to be careful about it.

They’re all powerful in one way or another, and although there are some people the Kings of Chaos can find reasons to meet with like they did with the Diamond Devils and Julian Maduro, that’s not an option for most of them.

After having that moment with Gage after our visit to Julian’s gym, I feel a bit better. Less crazy for being haunted by my demons at least. Hearing that someone like him still goes through the same shit I’m going through helped a lot. My demons aren’t dead, and I’m starting to see that they probably never will be… but I can finally accept that Hannahis.

I didn’t see her at the gala. It was just my mind playing tricks on me, like it did at Julian’s gym. Fresh off killing Ivan, the last name on my list, ofcourseI thought I saw her. I wanted to see her. I wanted her to be back because it was over.

But I know that wasn’t what happened, and I can work on moving past it.

At least… that part of it.

Now that I’m not thinking about my sister all the time and imagining that I see her everywhere, my mind has started to be consumed with thoughts of Julian. I can’t stop replaying our visit with him over and over in my head, recalling the way he looked so much like his dad, even down to that stupid, smug expression. It dredged up all those memories of my time being held captive, almost like I could feel the phantom hands on me all over again even though it’s been so long.

I can’t stop thinking about him, wondering what his life is like. Wondering if he’s just as bad as his piece of shit dad.

Before, I didn’t know anything about him, and that was by design. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone who was close to one of the men responsible for the worst shit in my life. Now that I know where his business is, though, I feel a constant itch in my head that makes me want to go there and make sure he’s not a monster like his dad.

So I give in to it.

It’s better than sitting around doing nothing, waiting for a lead to fall into my lap. I reason that maybe he really was lying, and Knox just missed something when he was hunting for info. Maybe it’s worth it to tail him and find out.

I know that’s pretty fucking flimsy, actually. I’m just doing it because I feel like I’m going to jump out of my own skin if I don’t dosomething. If I don’t let myself have a focus for the helpless rage that still clogs up my veins sometimes.

So I start following him around, and I don’t tell the guys about it. It feels almost… good to be doing it. To have a target again. I spent so many years always having a target to follow and learn about, so it feels familiar and comforting to have one again.

I keep my distance from him, never letting him see me, but I watch him, tracking his movements. Part of me is trying to find out if he’s as sick as Lorenzo was—if he’s keeping some poor girl captive too, just like his fucking father did.

If he is, he’s covering it up well. He goes to the boxing ring, goes out for fancy lunches with people in suits who look like they’re armed. Goes to clubs and spas and hotels, making deals or relaxing or whatever.

I see his sister pretty often while I follow him around. She’s usually there when he does business, clearly a part of the inner workings of their organization. They’re close, obviously, and they run the business together, working like a well-oiled machine. Julian always looks smug, like he’s better than everyone else, but there’s something different when he talks to Natalie. Like he actually respects her or something.

Every day in the week following our meeting with him, I go out and tail Julian a bit, and the guys go to track down other leads. They’ve sort of spread out the search among themselves, each of them pursuing various leads and then reporting back. Every evening, we sit in the kitchen and talk about what we’ve found.

Or what wehaven’tfound, which is more often the case than not.

I can taste their frustration in the air when we have those talks. We all thought we’d be making more progress by now.

I’m supposed to be following possible leads the same as they are, and I do follow them when I get one, but I also keep tabs on Julian, making sure nothing gets past me.

Almost two weeks after our visit to Julian’s gym, I’m alone at the house again, doing some research on his boxing ring. It seems like it’s a legit business—but then, so does Sin and Salvation from the outside, and I know the guys are using it as a front for their other dealings. Julian’s probably doing the same thing, so I want to try to find out what kind of shit he’s up to.

I’m in the middle of my research when someone knocks on the door. Dog starts going crazy like he does whenever someone he doesn’t know comes to the house, and I sigh and shut down the computer, getting up to go see who’s at the door.

“Calm down, we can all hear you,” I mutter to the mutt, and then groan internally when I see Agent Carter, that FBI agent who came to the house after the gala, standing outside looking impatient.

I take a breath and paste on my best fake smile before I open the door.

“Agent Carter,” I say. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here again.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Wasn’t expecting it or were hoping you wouldn’t?”

I let him in and close the door without answering that question.

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