Page 29 of Queen of Anarchy (Dirty Broken Savages 2)

I’d recognize her voice anywhere. She’s in pain, and she’s terrified. Her screams are wordless at first, but then I can make out my name, over and over again. Like a prayer, but edged with terror.

I try to push myself to my feet, try to get to her, but there are too many hands on me. They grab me and hold me, and the more I struggle, the tighter they seem to hold on.

I open my mouth and scream her name, but no sound comes out. Smoke fills my mouth, my throat, my lungs.

Someone is laughing, and it cuts through the sound of Jade’s screaming.

The flames are closer now. As if Brody’s men have dragged me closer just so I can have a good look at what’s happening. It’s all red, red, red, heat and a horrible flicker like a bad movie. Then, through all of that, I see her eyes. Usually so warm and gentle, now wide and frantic.

They lock on mine, so much pain and fear in their depths.

No.

I was supposed to save her. I tried to save her.

Darkness falls suddenly again, surrounding me in a rush and cutting off everything else. I can’t tell if the fires have been put out or if I’m in a different place. Everything feels heavy, and my heart is still pounding. The taste of ash and smoke is still thick in my mouth, and I clear my throat, trying to find my voice.

In the space of a heartbeat, I’m back at the gala from the other night.

People are dancing and drinking, clustered in little groups with their champagne flutes, talking about investments and fucking over poor people or whatever it is these people talk about when they get together.

Then River is there.

She looks so out of place with these people. Her beautiful tattoos are stark against her pale skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on her dress. She stands out in any crowd, but especially in this one, and she looks so gorgeous. Ethereal, in a way she never seems to realize she is. Her long hair catches the light of the chandeliers overhead and shines like liquid silver.

I try to move toward her, but before I can, she’s being pulled away. Her eyes go wide, and it’s not anger in them, but fear and dread.

She tries to fight back, but the attackers are stronger than her, and they seem to be made of nothing but shadow. Just hands growing up from the darkness, reaching out to grab her.

I run forward, trying to get to her, trying to save her, but the more I run, the faster they pull her away. I can’t stop them. I can’t protect her.

The others at the gala may as well be mannequins, standing still and watching it all happen with dead eyes. A heavy velvet curtain drops, and River vanishes behind it, stolen away.

Then, like a magic trick, it’s lifted again.

That golden pedestal from the gala is there—the art piece that no one ever really got a good look at.

But now, instead of Ivan’s body lying there on display, it’s River’s. Hacked into pieces. Blood staining her gown, her dark blue eyes staring without seeing.

It’s as if they pierce right through me anyway, and I feel like the breath has been punched from my lungs. I’m helpless. Frozen.

A failure.

Again.

I wake up violently, drenched in a cold sweat. My skin feels clammy and cold, and I can barely breathe. It’s like there’s a weight on my chest, keeping me from getting a deep breath in. Light filters in through the blinds, and it feels too bright as my gaze darts around my bedroom.

I struggle to get control of myself, shaking as I manage to sit up in bed. Clenching my jaw, I force myself to drag in slow breaths. One and then another.

My heart hammers in my chest, and it takes a good few seconds for my body to stop trembling.

I don’t have nightmares as often as I once did. After Jade died, they were almost nightly for years. I would wake up with my jaw so tight it ached, the memory of her screams of pain ringing in my ears. Every time I closed my eyes, it was like I was seeing the after-image of the flames flickering in the darkness, and the smell ofanythingburning made my stomach turn.

It’s been a while since I’ve had to deal with this, and this nightmare is the worst one I’ve had in a long time.

It leaves me feeling all raw, like every single nerve is exposed.

I think about Jade and River, both so different from each other. Jade, who looked to me to protect her, and River, who never would. So different… but apparently important enough for me to dream about them being taken from me.

---