Page 108 of Queen of Anarchy (Dirty Broken Savages 2)

“It suits you.”

I glance toward the door, biting my lip. “How long do you have? Before you need to get back?”

“Not long.” A look of sadness passes over Hannah’s face, but she shakes it off and grins at me. “But I can stay for a little while longer.”

“Okay.” Trying to keep the mood light, I cross the kitchen to get another mug down from the cabinet, glancing over at her. “Do you want some coffee?”

“God, yes.”

I grin and start pouring it, and Hannah sits down at the kitchen table. It feels strange to have her here, in a place where I’m slowly building something new, but at the same time, it feels right. I could nevernothave room for her in my life. Now that I know she’s alive, I have a craving to be around her all the time, to soak up as much of her presence as possible.

Grabbing the coffee mug and a couple other items, I bring it all over to the table and sit with Hannah. It’s a toss-up between sitting next to her and sitting across from her, but being able to watch her wins out. I’m greedy for the sight of her.

It’s so familiar, watching her add sugar and milk to her coffee and stir it up, the way she always used to when we’d have coffee before school in the mornings.

Something settles in me, just from being able to watch her do a thing as simple as make her coffee the way she likes it. I thought I would never get to see her again, and having this little moment of normalcy feels so good, even if I know it can’t last.

Hannah looks up and smiles as she catches me staring at her.

“You still take it black, don’t you?” she asks, nodding at my cup.

I look down into the murky black liquid and then nod back. “Yeah, I still do. I just never take the time to add anything to it.”

“You always were in a rush all the time. As soon as your feet hit the floor in the morning, you were already off doing a million different things. I never understood it.”

I shrug one shoulder “I had stuff to do. I still do.”

“You wouldn’t beyouif you weren’t dashing from one thing to the next, I guess.”

“Would you have me any other way?”

“Nah. Of course not.” She smiles, and I can’t help grinning back. Of all the people in my life, Hannah is the one who has always loved me unconditionally.

“It’s… been hard now that they’re all dead,” I admit to her. “Because you’re right. I’ve always had something pushing me forward, shit to do, someone to hunt down. Without that, I’ve kind of been floundering. That’s why I was following Julian. I wanted to know if he was just as bad as his dad, and having a goal again felt good.”

The spoon slows as she stirs her coffee, and she nods. “That makes sense. And I wondered, you know? I thought about trying to contact you so many times, but I figured I was keeping you safe by not doing it. I wondered if you were going to settle down into a normal life or something. Somehow, I couldn’t see it.”

“Even if I’d tried, it wouldn’t have worked. I was too fucked up from everything to just move on. I thought you were dead. And I was so fucking angry at everyone who had a hand in it. The only thing I could think to do was get revenge. That’s the thing that brought me back to life.”

“I think that was Cody for me,” Hannah murmurs. “Otherwise, I would have just kept feeling numb. I retreated into myself a little, just because I didn’t want to feel that fear and that hurt anymore. And then I had a little baby to take care of, and it gave me a sense of… I don’t know. Purpose, I guess. Something to focus on. I had to be there for him because he needed me.”

“It’s weird to think of you with a kid,” I admit. “But I’m glad you had something.Someone. I’m glad it wasn’t just you and Julian and your pain.”

Hannah reaches across the table for my hand, threading our fingers together. “I missed you so fucking much, River.” Her voice wavers, and she clears her throat. “I used to try to listen in when Julian talked business with people, trying to see if anything sounded like it might have to do with you. I couldn’t just come out and ask him, because I didn’t want to put you on his radar or anything. And I couldn’t decide if it was better that you didn’t seem to be involved in any of his business or not. I just wanted to know if you were safe.”

“I’ve been okay,” I tell her, trying to reassure her. “I won’t say it’s been great, but I’m alive. Surviving. You know. And I haven’t been being held captive by Julian Maduro, so Idefinitelycan’t complain.”

She winces and glances down when I say that, and I want to kick myself for not being more tactful. When she looks up at me again, I can see the weight of the last several years in her expression.

“It hasn’t been that bad,” she says, giving a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “He uses Cody to keep me in line, because he knows I’d do anything for my son. I think he knows I’d run if he ever let us be alone together. There are always guards around the house, and I can’t take Cody anywhere on my own. But Julian doesn’t abuse me or anything. At least, not as bad as Lorenzo did.”

Anger burns hotly in my stomach. “That’s not a high bar, Hannah.”

She makes a face. “I know. I’m just saying it could be worse. Julian can be… controlling. And he’s very cold most of the time. But for the most part, he barely touches me. He doesn’t even really pay attention to me, and I just focus on Cody. So it’s not that bad. Just… empty, I guess.”

My heart squeezes with pain for her. She’s not being actively hurt all the time, but she still deserves better than this. Better than Julian treating her like a belonging, like an asset he can trade or sell off. She’s my sister, and one of the best people I know. She deserves the fucking world, and I can’t stand the thought of her having to live an empty life. Not someone as bright and kind and wonderful as Hannah.

“I want to get you out of there,” I tell her, leaning forward and resting my elbows on the table. “I can’t let you live like that. Married to the son of your abuser. Broken and beaten down. There has to be a way we can figure this out.”

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