Chapter 29

Would Transformers buy life insurance … or car insurance? ~ Text from Barney to Hailey

Lola follows me into the office the next day. Since I’m carrying a load of stuff for her to make a home for her at the office, she’s off-leash. You’d never know I’ve only had her a day. She follows along like the awesome pup she is.

“How did your first night with Lola go?” Suzie asks as if she doesn’t know.

She and I went on a shopping spree at the pet store last night. We bought Lola everything her little heart could desire. She has multiple beds – two for at home and one for at the office. Plus, several chew toys, a new collar, a new leash, and some stuffed animals to keep her company.

“Come on,” I say. “Let’s get her bed set up in my office.”

“Why your office? Shouldn’t she be out here with me, since I’m the one who will be taking care of her most of the time in the office.”

“I don’t want her to be too near the entrance. What if she runs away?”

“She won’t run away,” Suzie grumps but follows me into my office. I place Lola’s bed in the corner she slept in yesterday. She immediately climbs in, turns in circles for a minute, and then lays down with a mini-growl. I place a toy and stuffed animal in the bed with her before hanging her leash on the door nob.

“She is too cute. I’m glad we went with the pink collar. Now, everyone knows she’s a girl dog.”

“Has she been spayed?” Phoebe asks from the doorway.

Lola lifts her heads and stands before strolling over to Phoebe. She sniffs Phoebe as she walks around her. Phoebe looks terrified.

“Are you afraid of dogs, Phoebe?” Damn. I should have asked her before I decided to take Lola.

“N-n-nooo. Not really.”

Suzie snorts. “Very convincing.”

“It’s just—” Her voice cuts off when Lola jumps on her back and starts humping her. She’s really going at it. Phoebe wobbles and has to catch herself on the wall before she falls to the floor.

“Lola. Stop it!” My voice has no effect. I grab her by the collar and pull her away from Phoebe. She whines and does her darndest to fight me in a bid to return to Phoebe. I drag her to her bed and push her into it. “Sit. Stay.” She does as I command, but her attention is glued to Phoebe who is now backing out of my office. “No humping Phoebe.” Her whine increases as if she can understand me.

I leave her in the office and close the door behind me. Suzie is bent over laughing her ass off. “You might not like dogs, but they loooove you.”

Phoebe’s face is bright red.

“Is this a normal reaction?” I ask the room. I may have always wanted a dog, but I don’t know much about them except pink collars are for girl dogs and blue collars are for boy dogs.

Phoebe nods. “If a female dog hasn’t been spayed, they often …er … react this way.”

I whip out my phone.

Has Lola been spayed?

Why? Is there a stray dog after her? I’ll take care of it.

Um, no. Lola has a thing for Phoebe.

A thing?

She won’t stop humping her.

This time it takes a while for Aiden to respond. I tap my foot as I wait for his response.

Should we get her a boy dog?

I am not pimping Lola out! I just want to know if she’s spayed.