Page 48 of The Politician

She gripped at her chest again, and the pain deepened.

By the time she stood and continued through the park, her legs were weak, and she wished she’d just headed home earlier. But she had a plan. The train journey would take a lifetime. She would give up the flat and go to Thailand. Instead of it being a holiday, she’d buy a one-way ticket and go and lick her wounds. She’d been naïve to think this thing she’d had with Sarah would have ended any other way. Lovers were never wives. They were disposable. She shuddered at the thought that she’d been used, no more than a prostitute but without having been paid for her services. Fuck the lot of them.

20.

“GOOD JOB WITH THEDaily, Jeremy.”

Sarah had breathed a sigh of relief receiving Jeremy’s message that he’d managed to stop the story hitting the press. She’d missed calls from Kendra earlier but had been stuck in meetings and since the urgency had gone away, she would explain it all to her later.

“The threat of us suing his arse for slander, and the fact that he owed me a favour grabbed his attention. He will go ahead with it though if anything else comes to light.”

Sarah nodded. “That won’t happen.”

Jeremy cleared his throat. “No, it won’t.”

Sarah adjusted the silk scarf around her neck and checked out her reflection in the window of their private room at the hotel. “How do I look?” she asked.

The motor industry representatives weren’t her favourite audience since she would be putting a proposition to them to work with her to reduce emissions ahead of the target date. It would test their budgets and their loyalty because the rebates on offer in return wouldn’t match the profits they could make. But she needed their commitment to her plans to inform their manifesto. “No false promises” was her commitment to the party and the voters, and there was only so much she could offer the industry should she be elected in the coming months. Tough conversations were never easy and for some reason, they seemed to be getting harder.

“You look great. You’ve been through this a hundred times. Emphasise the need for quicker action on their part without over-promising. And steer clear of being drawn on the need to resume fracking to combat increasing fuel prices. EnBus will want to address the point, but we can’t go there. Substance, not bullshit.”

She smiled. He was stating the obvious, keeping her on track and focused. She was ready for whatever they threw at her. She glanced at the clock on the wall as the sound of voices gathered momentum from inside the conference room. Where the hell was Kendra? She inhaled deeply and enjoyed the warm feeling in her chest. Perhaps it would be easier to concentrate if she wasn’t in the room. It would be too tempting to look at her and too distracting. But later, they could have a drink in the hotel bar together without arousing suspicion and walk to the tube station before going their separate ways. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than nothing.

“Water?” she asked.

“There’s a glass on the podium. You’re all set.”

She took a deep breath and entered the room with a smile, stood behind the podium, and took a sip of water. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for coming.”

She made her statement clearly, answered questions with good humour, and glanced from time to time at the clock. Two hours ticked by slowly. By the end of the session, Kendra still hadn’t appeared, and she cut departure conversations short to bring the event to a close.

“That went as well as could be expected,” Jeremy said as they made their way back to their private room.

Sarah dug into her clutch bag and pulled out her phone. No messages. She prayed that nothing had happened to her. It wasn’t like her to be late, let alone not show up at all.

“Is everything okay?” Jeremy asked.

Sarah threw her phone back into her bag. “I was expecting Kendra.”

Jeremy cleared his throat. “Kendra’s gone, Sarah.”

Sarah widened her eyes and shook her head. “What do you mean, gone?”

He stood taller and stared at her. “I dealt with the problem, as you requested.”

She leaned towards him. A combination of fire and ice snaked its way through her. “You did what, exactly?” She gritted her teeth and restrained herself from launching at him. She knew exactly what had happened, because it was the obvious and easiest solution for any complicated people-based problems.

“You know it had to be done.”

“You had her paid off. Jesus Christ, Jeremy. When I said to make it go away, I didn’t mean Kendra. I meant the fucking locusts.”

“This isn’t a press problem. As long as Kendra works for you and the department, there’s an increasing risk to you. You’re her boss, and bosses and subordinate relationships never go down well, especially when they end badly. We’ve come too close for comfort already, and I’m running out of favours to pull in. You’re not blind, Sarah, and you’re not naïve either, so do me a favour and grow some balls. Own what you created.”

Sarah refused to accept the truth, refused to acknowledge he was right. She turned away, replaying the conversation she’d had with him at her house and wished she could go back and change everything from the time she’d knocked Kendra off her scooter. If only she’d stepped out of Nero’s a few seconds later. The memories of their times together challenged her wishes, the way Kendra had nursed her back to health, the farm cottage they’d spent their first night at, and the times they’d made love. Because they hadmade love. It had long since been about sexual gratification. It had become something much stronger that she hadn’t anticipated. But having experienced that connection, the idea of it not being there struck her. Her stomach was empty and raw, and there was a pain in the back of her throat, making it hard to swallow. She wanted to argue that there had to be a better way than getting rid of Kendra, but she didn’t know what that option looked like, and in any case, it would fall on his deaf ears.

“She understood, for what it’s worth. She didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise your campaign and took the money happily. I’m sure she’ll do something productive with it. You’re lucky. She could have been difficult or worse, greedy.”

Sarah shook her head. There was no way Kendra would have become difficult, and she certainly wasn’t greedy. Kendra was wonderful, considerate, and loving, and she hadn’t done anything to deserve being treated this way. Sarah lowered her head and hugged herself. What had she done?

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