Page 52 of The Politician

“Said it would blow your socks off,” her dad said and laughed.

Kendra took a drink of water. “You weren’t joking,” she said, thankful for the cover of the food to hide the blush she was sure lit up her face.

He poured himself another drink and offered the bottle.

“No more for me, thanks. I’m going to get a shower and pack for tomorrow.”

She headed upstairs and blew out a puff of air as she emptied the suitcase and selected items fit for the jungle. She was completely unprepared, although she’d bought a couple of pairs of shorts and T-shirts when she’d intended to go on holiday there. They still had the sales tags on them. By the time she’d finished packing, her enthusiasm for the trip hadn’t budged, and all she could think about was Sarah and what she might be doing. Had she been able to put Kendra to one side that easily? To forget her, as if she’d never existed, as if they hadn’t shared the most intimate experiences? How could she have misjudged her? She’d thought Sarah was different from the other lying bastards in government. Clearly not. Power did corrupt, and she’d fallen for it. Fuck it, and fuck love. If it hurt this badly, she was done with it. Now and forever.

22.

“THESE ARE THE REPORTSyou wanted, minister,” Harry said.

Sarah rolled her eyes. She’d asked her new assistant not to address her that way, but he seemed incapable of calling her Sarah. He placed the documents on her desk and waited to be dismissed. There was nothing wrong with him, per se. He was efficient and dedicated, though he never stayed beyond his working hours, and he was so bloody formal, it was driving her insane. She hadn’t appreciated the depth of her connection with Kendra and how much more pleasant the working day had become until she’d had to be without her for three months. She expected a superficial level of engagement with her peers because that was the nature of the environment. They were as much competitors as they were a team. Relationships were fickle, and trust was hard to find, but within her personal admin and support team, both in London and Todmorden, she’d come to enjoy the genuine interest and support based on the affection of both Haley and Kendra. Harry was a temp on a six-month contract, and he was more like Jeremy, though he had nothing to gain from this appointment. What could she expect from him other than the bare minimum and respect, which he gave in accordance with the letter of his contract?

“Thank you,” she said.

Jeremy entered the office and smiled. “Good news. The polls are showing us gaining ground with the London Councils. We’ve picked up Brent and Croydon, by the looks of it, and they reckon Ealing and Enfield will follow.”

“Islington and Wandsworth are still holding out?” No matter how many of the London constituencies they were forecast to take from the current government, it wouldn’t be enough for Sarah to rest. They had to keep pushing hard right to the end, and the election was still five months away.

“At the moment, yes.”

Sarah noted the time. “I’m heading home. I’ll work from there for a few hours then I’m shutting down until the New Year.”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows. “We have a meeting with—”

“Cancel it,” Sarah said. She gathered up the paperwork and put it into her briefcase, put on her coat, and pocketed her phone.

“But—”

“Rearrange it for January. And Harry?”

“Yes, minister.”

“Go home. Merry Christmas.”

“Thank you, minister.”

She walked past the two men, down the stairs, and into the street. She squinted into the sleet. The winter weather had arrived in earnest, but she still wouldn’t bet on a white Christmas in London. She’d already looked at the skiing options for February, fancying the Alps for both its closer proximity to London and its guarantee of decent snow. She needed a break, but her heart hadn’t allowed her to book.

She made her way on the tube, walking the last part of her journey home, and stopped outside Caffè Nero at the spot that she’d upended Kendra. Recalling the image of her green luminous Converse and Kendra diving towards the curb, Sarah’s heart ached. She sighed, entered the café, ordered a hot chocolate, and took a window seat.

The sleet became heavier, and darkness swiftly descended around the Christmas lights. A layer of condensation formed at the edges of the window, and a chill crept beneath her defences. She sipped the hot drink and rubbed the back of her neck to try to release the tension. The campaign couldn’t be going any better, and the press had quieted, as she knew they would. Jeremy was happier, naturally, while Sarah felt herself going through the grind, devoid of emotion.

How could she have expected Kendra to write back to her? She had hoped though. She’d thought her letter would help smooth things over between them and not knowing how Kendra had responded to her apology or what she was feeling now ate away at Sarah. Like a parasite, the uncertainty had fed on her joy and left her an empty, miserable shell of a woman.

Even the upcoming Christmas holiday period, when she’d have a few precious days with her children and Mark in the privacy of her home, didn’t raise her pulse. If anything, she felt even more guilty for not looking forward to it. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked in the chair.

“Merry Christmas, Sarah.”

Sarah looked at the face she didn’t recognise as the woman who’d wished her well waved.

“You’ve got our vote,” the woman said and gave her a thumbs up.

Sarah smiled. “Thank you.”

She was being noticed more often now and was being stopped in the street and quizzed from time to time by well-meaning supporters. Jeremy had urged her to take taxis around town rather than the tube and walking for her own safety. She refused, preferring to keep herself as close to the people as possible. It was a pleasant feeling that helped her to connect with her work, an external indication that she was achieving something important. And she needed that assurance even more as the weeks had stretched into months, and the pain she felt for Kendra’s absence hadn’t eased. If anything, she missed her more each day. The realisation that she was in love with Kendra wasn’t new, but her decision to do something about it was. She finished her drink, exited Nero’s, and headed back to the tube to take the train to Chesham.

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