Page 22 of Bred Winner

I smile. “To start our family.”

“Right. So, let’s do it. Let’s start our family and get the awkwardness out of the way. Is there really any going back after the last six days? Seriously?”

“We promised this wouldn’t affect our friendships.” I glance between them. Coen looks like he’s about to murder Oakley, his face red and hands clenched—which is crazy, as he is not a fighter. Tristan’s jaw is set, but his eyes are on me, watching and cataloguing every emotion crossing my face.

Oakley closes his eyes and bows his head. “I can’t go back to being just friends after this. I’m sorry.”

Another period of uncomfortable silence descends between us. I can’t stand it, so I scoot my chair back, intending to take my plate to the sink when Tristan puts his hand on my thigh. “Don’t leave, babe.”

“I think we need time to think—I know I do. I’ve had a plan of what my life would look like since I was eight years old, and yes, I’ve been amending that plan over the last six months, but this is a lot of change all at once. It’s one thing to push it to the back of our minds and enjoy ourselves in the moment, but it’s quite another to make a decision, which is what I feel Oakley wants. And that’s fair. You guys have been more than patient with me, putting your lives on hold while you waited for me to figure it out. I need a few nights and some deep sleep to map out this potential future in my head.”

I lean over and kiss Tristan, then I stand up and walk behind Oakley, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re right. We’ve gone too far to not have this be an all-or-nothing proposition.” I kiss his neck and then move over to Coen, kissing his cheek.

My guys are ramrod still, their jovial personalities and laid back vibes non-existence as they stare at whatever is in front of them.

“Can I have until Friday? Six pm? I’ll meet you here.”

“If that’s what you need, sweetness.”

“Of course, babe.”

Oakley nods but says nothing.

“Don’t fight while I’m gone, okay? Think about what you really want in your life. I love all of you, and I know you love me. Now that we’ve had a taste of what was forbidden for fifteen years, we need to be one hundred percent sure about what we want in our future, because I suppose this is all or nothing.”

“We’ll be here Friday night, waiting.” Tristan stands and holds out his hand, pulling me into his hard chest. Tears fill my eyes, the tension between us unlike anything we’ve ever had before. A sense of grief hits me, and I fear that if I walk out the door, one or all of them will close his heart to me.

Am I risking too much asking for more time?

Isn’t fifteen years more than enough?

Should I hop into bed with them tonight and tell my brain to stop overthinking my plans?

I’m not sure I know how to live in the moment. That’s what I’ve been doing for the last ten days and I’m exhausted. How can I be both spontaneous and premeditated at the same time?

I guess I have two days to figure that out.

9

OAKLEY

Tristan walks Alora out while Coen sits next to me, fuming. I can actually feel the heat kicking off his body—he’s that angry.

I wait until Tristan walks back into the house before I stand up. “Do either of you want to take a swing at me?”

“Yes,” Coen grumbles.

“What the fuck, Oak?” Tristan runs his hand through his thick hair.

I lean my back against the kitchen counter and fold my arms across my chest. If either of them comes for me, I won’t defend myself—much. I deserve their wrath right now, but I meant every word I said.

“I thought everything was going great,” Coen mutters, casting a wary eye in my direction. What’s he got to be wary about? I’m the smallest of us here.

“We were living out our fantasy,” Tristan adds.

“That’s the problem. It was a fantasy, but I knew the first night I couldn’t live in la-la-land for ninety days. If she hadn’t brought up the agreement tonight, I would have in the next week.” I turn and grab a beer out of the refrigerator, cracking open the top, and sucking down half the bottle, which causes me to burp immediately. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I meet both men in the eye. “A few days ago, I was a thirty-four-year-old virgin who finally slept with the woman of his dreams. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want to be stuck in this limbo ofare weoraren’t wea family anymore. I don’t regret waiting for her, but I also can’t let any more time slip by.”

Tristan and Coen exchange a glance but say nothing in response to my big revelation. Maybe they suspected all along. They certainly don’t look surprised.

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