Page 3 of Bred Winner

“What are you talking about?” I glance between them.

“You want a baby. We want you. You’ve always known this. We’ve never hidden it. So, this declaration should not be a surprise. Instead of going to some cold clinic and paying tens of thousands of dollars for an impersonal procedure, date us for ninety days and let us get you pregnant,” Coen states as plainly as if he’s proposing we paint my living room blue.

“Think about it. It’s perfect.” Tristan shifts in his chair excitedly. “Regardless of who the father of your child is, you know the three of us are going to be part of the little one’s life. We will be Uncle Clown Shoes, Uncle Goofball, and Uncle Tutu for any children you ever have.”

Oakley nods, visibly relaxing, his anger dissipating. “We love you, you love us, and although we’ve stood back and watched you chase after this ridiculous fantasy of your perfect family, we’ve always known you belong with us. Even if you had found a man you deemed worthy and married him, you’re never getting rid of us. We will always be there for you and anyone else you bring into this world. Date us for ninety days, and if we haven’t gotten you pregnant by the end, I’ll take you to the clinic and pay for your in vitro myself.”

2

COEN

Alora stares at me with her mouth wide open, but the longer the silence sits between us, the more perfect I think my idea is. I’ve been in love with her since the moment I saw her walking across the quad. Tristan, Oakley, and I were playing hacky sack with a bunch of coeds when a petite, dark-skinned beauty caught my attention. She must’ve held her weight in books as she hobbled across the concrete path from the science building to the library.

Or was it the library to the science building? I really don’t remember because as soon as I saw her, everything else faded away, including the game I had been immersed in. Then, the hacky sack came my way and hit me in the face right before an overzealous player kicked me in the junk. I went down like a sack of potatoes, but my first thought when I came to waswhere did she go?

It was several days before I saw her again. This time in one of the mini cafeterias on campus. I’m a big guy—six foot four, two hundred and forty pounds of mostly muscle—so me catching snacks in between meals is not uncommon. I dwarf her five-foot-three frame, so when she walked toward me with a tray full of food and took a seat at the table next to me, I couldn’t stop myself from asking her how many friends she had coming to help her eat all of it.

She laughed, circled her tray with her arms, and growled at me. “This is mine. Don’t let my diminutive stature fool you, big man. I might be small, but I’m scrappy.”

It was at that moment I knew I was in love. We spent the next two hours bullshitting about everything. Where she was from. Where I was from. What our majors were. What we wanted out of life. Everything. I’ve never had conversation flow so freely between myself and another outside of my best friends, and even though her goals were much more definitive and loftier than mine, when I imagined my future, all I saw was her.

Coincidently, two days later, Tristan came home from the gym raving about the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. Later that night, Oakley gushed about the new girl working late nights at the library. Within days, all three of us believed we’d met the one.

So, we had a party and invited the women who had stolen our hearts.

Imagine our surprise when we invited the same girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you spend fifteen years in the friend zone with the woman of your dreams.

After a fight or two, Oakley, Tristan, and I decided our friendship had to be number one, but loving her was such a strong second that it takes constant reminders. Tristan originally thought up the idea of dating her together. At first, we joked about it, toying with the idea in our minds while teasing and taunting her with our words. But she had a clear idea of what her future looked like, and it wasn’t with a non-business major with no clear career path after college. The three of us are fine art majors and went to school to party as much as we attended class. None of us were nearly as focused as her at twenty years old, and it took years to get our shit together.

In the interim, we had to watch her date other guys—and had to be okay with it.

When she dated Mark after graduation, we tried dating a woman together, just to see what it was like. Our relationships have never lasted long because, deep down, we know Alora is the only one for us. She has our hearts. So how can we give them to anyone else?

“What do you think?” I finally ask.

She shakes her head while Tristan says, “I think it’s the best damn idea you’ve ever had.”

Oakley concurs with a nod of his head. “I love it.”

Alora rolls her eyes. “Of course you do. But you’re not thinking this through.”

“Which part?” I grab my chair and carry it around the table. Then I pick her up with ease, put her in it, and take her chair, spinning it around so the four of us can huddle into a nice, private chat. “What are we not thinking through?”

“Um, let’s see. How am I supposed to date three men at once?”

“We’ll take turns,” Oakley offers.

I do a few calculations in my head. “Ninety days, three guys, that’s thirty days a piece.”

“We’d want to alternate nights, set a schedule, so we get equal time,” Tristan adds.

And just like always, the three of us mind meld, bouncing ideas and filling in the gaps. “Let’s say we start next Thursday to give us time to come up with a few dates. Tristan will take Thursday night, Oakley Friday, and I’ll take Saturday since I don’t teach on Sunday. Then we’d start the rotation all over again with Tristan on Sunday night.”

“Excuse me!” Alora raises her voice, pulling us out of the conversation. “You’re talking about me like I’m not here.”

I reach out and slip my fingers into her hand. “I’m sorry, sweetness. We’re just thinking through the logistics out loud.”

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