Page 76 of Going All the Way (Knights of Passion)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jason hunched inthe chair, the room plunged in darkness, the shades drawn to block out the sun. It was all very melodramatic, like a bad movie, but he didn’t care. The phone blinked with several messages he didn’t have the heart to listen to. He didn’t even know how the Knights were doing in the playoffs after winning the game. Several of the players and staff had stopped by, even Cole Hammonds and Miranda Callahan, but he ignored the knocking.

Scott, his agent, was the latest visitor. He even made it past the front door, mainly because he had a key for some reason. He tried to explain Jason’s options—color commentaries, play-by-play reporting, even coaching. But he wasn’t ready to hear any other options. There was only one thing he wanted, the one thing he couldn’t have.

Stacia.

His thoughts had turned to her more and more over the past several days and he replayed their last encounter incessantly in his mind. He had pushed her away, hurt her, but he always expected her to come back. She always did. Maybe he had fucked up for the last time.

The quiet opening then closing of the front door interrupted his sulking. Without looking up or turning around, he said, “Get out, Scott. I don’t need any more bullshit today.”

“Well, you need something.” Stacia spoke from behind him, acid in her tone. “Sitting on your ass on a perfectly wonderful day feeling sorry for yourself. Poor Jason.” She stalked across the room and opened the curtains. Sunlight flooded the room, blinding him, her determined steps clicking on the hardwood floor, each step stabbing him. “I understand how you feel but there’s a whole world out there waiting for you.”

And he had wanted her to come back? Not like this. Declarations of love and peace and sympathy were what he wanted, not nagging and harassment. “You have no idea how I feel. Baseball is everything. I have nothing else.”

“Boohoo. Seriously, Jason. You have so much to offer and so many more years left. Are you going to sit here in this dark room until the day you die or that chair grows into your ass?” He jerked his head up and stared at her, bewildered. “That can happen. I saw it on TV. Anyway, the Knights are playing the final round of the Division Series tonight and they want you there, kind of a morale boost and a nice gesture to the fans. You’re going.”

Slowly, he stood. “I think you forgot something. I fired you.”

She smiled. “I’m not doing this as your image consultant but as your own personal ass-kicker. And you couldn’t fire me since I never worked for you.”

He turned away. “No thanks.”

She grabbed his good arm and dragged him toward the stairs. “Not an option. Come on. Get dressed.” She sniffed. “And you might want to shower too. Need help with your arm?”

He glared at her and stalked up the stairs. What the hell was he doing? Going to the game to get pity? He started to turn around and refuse, but Stacia was right behind him.

“Move it,” she ordered, pushing him up the stairs.

This wasn’t what he had in mind when he wondered where she was. But maybe she cared. She had cared enough to come back today, after all he had done. A glimmer of hope unfurled inside, the chance that he could fix what he had done wrong. Was it possible? Was there hope for them yet?

*

Jason paused inthe darkened tunnel as the crowd roared. The team was on the field and didn’t know he was there yet, in case he chickened out. He stood between Seamus Callahan, Miranda and Cole Hammonds, listening to the national anthem and the announcing of the teams. Finally, it was his moment. He took a deep breath and felt a warm hand on his back, rubbing gently, then a hard push.

He stepped out of the tunnel, into the dugout then onto the steps to the field. There was a momentary pause when the cameras caught sight of him and everyone realized he was there. Then the crowd got louder and his teammates crowded him, mindful of his shoulder and arm but all welcoming, with back slaps and head rubs. He laughed a little and broke away when he heard the commentator announce his name.

He took the ball from the umpire and walked to the mound, waving to the crowd. His heart pounded in his chest and tears pricked his eyes. He had no idea the fans cared about him, that anyone cared. He gestured with his bad arm, and made a motion to let them know he was fine. He kicked the dirt a little, getting set for the first pitch. He saw Alex, the catcher, move in a little closer and he waved him back. If he was going to do this, he would go all the way.

He set and threw the ball with his left hand. Amazingly enough, it made it all the way to the catcher without a bounce. Not quite a strike but close enough. The team mobbed him again and he walked off the field to the cheers of a crowd of people who didn’t even know he existed two months ago and had booed him when he first arrived. Go figure. They loved him now.

Maybe there was hope.

He bounded down the dugout and into the tunnel where Cole and Miranda waited. He glanced around quickly, excited to thank Stacia, but she was nowhere to be found.

“She left. She thought it best,” Miranda said.

Cole put a hand on his shoulder. “Come on up to the owner’s box for the game. We have a lot to talk about.”

Jason struggled against the tide of people swarming him away, looking for a Stacia in the crowds. Where had she gone? This was as much her moment as his. She had made him, and he needed her. How could she have left?

*

He stared atthe paper in his hand, Cole Hammonds’ words echoing in his head. A contract for next season. The crowd sounded in the background, cheering the team on in the playoff game, but the game, the crowd, the season, faded for him, crystallized into this one moment. Everything he had thought he wanted, he held in his hand. A playing contract for next season, no restrictions. Why did he feel so hollow?

“I may not be able to play. In fact, the doctor says I’ll never play again. So why the contract?”

“You’re a member of the Knights family,” Seamus said. “No matter what happened, you now belong to us. There’s a surgeon on the West Coast who has been doing miraculous things with shoulders. We’ve already set up an appointment with him for you next week, when the team is on the coast for the next playoff game. Get a second opinion, see what he says.”

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