Page 58 of Temptation at His Door

He sent Finn a grateful smile and looked at Aron. “Want to go and hang out with Finn, A?”

Aron shook his head and wound his arms around Carrick’s neck. “Want to go with ’Rick.”

Ronan arched his eyebrow at Carrick. His brother was in love and surely wanted to spend some alone time with Sadie. He expected Carrick to make an excuse. But Carrick just looked from Ronan to Joa and quickly nodded. “Sure, bud. We’ll hang out.”

It took a village—or, in his case, his brothers—to raise a child. God, he was lucky to have them. “Thanks, guys.”

Ronan gave his boys another quick hug, sad to see them go after not seeing them for two days. But he and Joa had things to talk about, and they didn’t need the distraction. They were only trying to sort out the rest of their lives...

After Carrick and Finn scooped up the boys and the bags they’d walked in with and left, each with a child in tow, Ronan took Joa’s coat and hung it up on the coatrack.

Joa unwound her scarf, not sure what was happening. The boys had left, she didn’t know if they were still going to dinner with Abigail and there was a damn big empty patch on the wall. Joa looked at the plastic-covered portrait and wondered whether she was hallucinating.

But no, there were two other boxes filled with—she lifted the open lid—more photographs. The wall going up the stairs was bare of photos and Thandi’s scarf and hat weren’t on the coatrack to the left of the door.

Joa looked at Ronan, so handsome, so serious.

“It was time.”

Joa looked at him. “Really?”

Ronan nodded. Placing a hand on her arm, he tugged her over to the staircase and sat down on the third step up. He patted the spot next to him and Joa bit her lip, not sure what to do. She felt totally spacy, like she’d been tossed into an alternate reality where nothing made sense. She debated whether to sit or bolt. But Ronan’s gaze was steady on her face and his beautiful, serious eyes begged her to trust him or, at the very least, to hear him out.

So she sat down, keeping a solid ten inches between them.

It took a few excruciating minutes for him to speak. “Thandi is a part of me, Ju. Death has marked me. I’d be lying if I told you it hasn’t. Losing her ripped me apart, it really did.”

“I know, Ronan. I mean, I don’tknowknow but—” Joa’s words tumbled out, desperate to reassure him. How lucky he was to know love like that, how lucky Thandi was to be loved so fully by this amazing man. How brave they’d both been.

Ronan’s hand gripped hers and squeezed. “Just listen, please.”

Joa expected him to remove his hand, but instead he just slid his fingers between hers, his palm warm against her skin.

“Thandi was amazing and I loved her very much and I want to remember her. Shedeservesto be remembered.”

Joa tried to remain impassive, but Ronan must’ve seen the distress on her face because he squeezed her fingers gently. “I’m not trying to hurt you, sweetheart, but I need you to understand. Because if you don’t, there’s no hope for us. So will you try?”

God, didn’t he know that she’d do anything for him? Not able to speak, Joa just nodded.

“It’s taken me a long time to realize, to accept, that it’s not all or nothing. We can’t shove emotions into boxes and pull them out when we want. Death is far more complex than that and I need you to accept that I can still love and miss her and be totally, wildly, crazy in love with you.”

Joa thought she heard that he loved her but that couldn’t be right, could it? “I’ve been happier with you these last few weeks than I have been for years and I’d like to keep being that happy. But the thing is, I know I’ll still think of her occasionally and I don’t want you to feel threatened by that. I love her, but I’m notin lovewith her anymore.

“I’m so in love with you, though.”

Joa stared, trying to make sense of what he’d said. Could she love this man, knowing a part of him would always love his wife?

“Do you compare us?”

Ronan released a small snort. “Hell, no. You two are as different as night and day.”

Well, that was a relief. Joa, needing to move, stood up and paced the area of the hallway in front of him, her thumbnail between her teeth. Could she do this, could she take a chance on him?

Ronan started to speak, but Joa shook her head, holding her hand in a silent plea to let her think.

She could walk away right now and resume her solitary life, hiding out behind her walls and not letting anyone get close. Or she could let Ronan in and give love a chance.

He was a good man, asexyman and she loved him, she did. But could she play second fiddle? She needed to know...

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