Page 54 of Temptation at His Door

“Are you really leaving me?” Ronan asked, feeling like she’d reached into his heart and yanked it out of his chest.

Joa swallowed, closed her eyes and nodded. Her “yeah” was small but still audible.

“Did you hear me when I said that I want you?” Ronan asked, his voice cracking.

Joa placed her hand on his heart, a touch that briefly cut through the cold fog enveloping him. “I know you want me, Ro. That was never the problem. But what I want the most belongs to someone else and I’m not going to fight her for it.”

Joa turned away and Ronan watched her walk up the stairs, feeling overwhelmed, a little pissed and totally at sea. He started to go after her, suddenly terrified by the thought of her not returning. What would he do? How would he cope? Oh, this had nothing to do with her looking after the boys, and everything to do with where he wanted her in his life...

No!

Not yet, think it through.

Ronan knew he couldn’t be impulsive. He couldn’t go on his gut. He had to think, pick this situation apart. He couldn’t throw himself at her feet, because she was vulnerable, too, and might agree to stay, to move into his life, his world, as his partner and lover, not just as a nanny. And, when the novelty of fantastic sex faded, would one or both of them realize that they’d made a huge mistake?

He couldn’t just think about himself. He had the boys to consider.

He needed to think, dammit. Ronan scrubbed his hands over his face and was surprised to feel the hint of tears on his cheeks. Tears? Really? He had never thought he’d cry again, and especially not over a woman.

Ronan dropped his hands and his gaze landed on the silver photo frame, the picture of him, Thandi and Sam, back when he was completely happy, so damn sure of himself and his place in the world.

Ronan placed his fingertip on Thandi’s cheek, ran it over her jawline and then slowly and deliberately lay the photograph facedown.

Thandi was dead, and life, so it was said, was for the living.

So that begged the question, how was he going to live his?

Thirteen

Joa stared past Keely’s shoulder to the placid Atlantic Ocean behind her.

It was Saturday afternoon or, as Joa liked to call it, day two of her crappy, Ronan-free life.

She’d have maybe an hour or two more with Ronan and the boys when they had dinner tomorrow night and then she’d leave their lives forever.

Forever.

God, that was a long, long time.

She didn’t know if she could bear it. She’d been so stupid, falling in love with a man who was unavailable. When was she ever going to learn?

Keely looked up from reading the résumé of the latest applicant for the foundation’s CEO position and rolled her eyes. “Are you going to spend the entire weekend sighing?”

“Probably,” Joa admitted, lifting her glass of iced tea to her lips. She gestured to the résumé lying across Keely’s thighs. “She sounds great, doesn’t she?”

Keely tapped the paper with her index finger and shrugged. “You seem to think so.”

“She’s smart, has the right qualifications and has a solid track record of working in the sector,” Joa countered. “She’s perfect for the job.”

“Or youwanther to be perfect for the job,” Keely said, tossing the résumé onto the wooden table between them. They were seated on the deck of Keely’s luxurious rented house and it was so nice to be in shorts and flip-flops again.

Well, her body was warm; her heart still felt like it was encased in ice.Might as well get used to the sensation, Jones.

“What are you trying to say, Keely?”

“Her being so great gives you the out you’re looking for.”

Joa tried to make sense of her words but came up blank. “I’m sorry?”

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