His revelations about his mother startled her. She’d not expected him to share something so incredibly personal and his frankness, and those hints of vulnerability that he’d allowed her to see, touched her deeply. Too deeply.
It also, despite her blithe talk about just being his “transition girl,” made her acknowledge that she didn’t want to let him go. That she might, foolishly, wantmore...
She wanted the next woman he fell for to beher.
Oh, Lord, she was in a world of trouble. And it was all of her own making...
How could so much have changed in just a few weeks? For years and years, Sarabeth considered herself to be so damn savvy about relationships, thinking she had it all figured out. She’d convinced herself that princes didn’t exist, that there were only frogs to be kissed and fairy tales were a lie all little, and big, girls were fed. And after over a decade of treating dating like she was on the pageant stage, giving the judges what they seemed to want with scant regard as to whether she was happy or not, she’d given up men altogether to focus all her energy onSarabeths!
She had plans to travel, to see the world, and she was prepared for those cities, their people and their culture, to mold and change her, to help her grow. But of all the places in the world she intended to visit, she never expected her views about life, and love, to be challenged in Royal, Texas.
She’d thought herself so smart, so cool to be having an affair with a younger, sexy guy, convinced she had this all under control. But she’d never, not for a second, planned on feeling this much for Brett, of teetering on the sharp edge of falling in love.
Sarabeth rested her forehead on her hands and told herself she was getting swept up in the moment, that she was giving a deep and intense conversation more power than it deserved.
They were friends and friends confided in each other...
Sarabeth felt a spurt of annoyance at her rationalization, acknowledging that she was looking for an excuse to justify the way she was feeling. She’d studied enough psychology to know thatpeople tended to lead with their emotions first and make up reasons for why they were acting the way they did afterward.
So whatwasshe feeling? Way down deep where only truth resided?
Sarabeth placed her hand on her sternum and forced herself to get real. She was, she reluctantly admitted, scared of what she was already beginning to feel for Brett.
And, because of her fears, she’d sprouted that nonsense about being his “transition girl,” the woman who could bridge the gap between his waifs and strays and someone who didn’t require rescuing.
The problem was that a part of her, the hopeless romantic she thought she’d buried years ago, didn’t want to be his transition girl but rather his forever girl.
Sarabeth allowed herself a moment to imagine a life spent with Brett, living and loving and shaping the future with him. And it was pretty, and sunshiny and glorious and...
And it was a dream that would never come true.
Because the risks far outweighed the rewards...
For far too long, she’d given her power away, desperate for validation. She’d been the charming beauty queen, then the perfect trophy wife. Eventually she’d left Rusty, thinking it was a new start, but fighting for a place in her kids’ lives mentally and emotionally drained her. She’d felt so useless, an abject failure as a wife and a mother, and she’d been desperate for kindness, attention and validation. For anybody to make her feel a little less alone.
And every time she gave people, and men, what they wanted from her, she gave them permission to rip away a part of her soul.
Her business saved her, and as she grew confident in what she was doing, she felt her self-worth growing, her soul regenerating.
And when she finally felt strong enough to be her true authentic self, she promised herself that she would never give away her power again. She categorically refused to allow herself to be hurt again, and if she allowed this relationship with Brett to continue, she had no doubt that would happen.
Bottom line? She’d worked too hard for too long to lose herself again.
Which meant there was only one course of action, a single road to take. She needed to create some distance between them, to start easing away. To allow this relationship to slowly evaporate...
But, right now, she needed to put a smile on her face, as she was meeting Ross, Charlotte and Gina for dinner at the RCW Steakhouse. Her kids weren’t fools. If she walked into the restaurant looking even a little sad, they would push and pry and demand explanations.
She had none she wanted to share...
A knock on her window had her jumping, and on seeing Gina’s beautiful face, she left the vehicle and embraced her daughter.
“You looked a million miles away, Mom. What on earth were you thinking about?”
“Nothing much,” she replied, lying through her teeth.
Gina kissed her cheek and tucked her hand into her elbow, leading her to the entrance of the restaurant. “I don’t believe you for one second. I think you were thinking about your sexy landlord.”
Yep, her daughter wasn’t an idiot.