Page 69 of Perfect Someday

“We flew to Hawaii last night, so I’ve only been asleep for about an hour.”

“Wow, Hawaii. I didn’t know you were heading there.” His tone is not angry, but I can tell it upsets him slightly that he didn’t know where I was.

“I’m sorry. I can’t keep track anymore. I don’t know where I’m going half the time until we arrive. Believe me, I was not prepared for the five-hour flight.” I move around, wanting to moan at how bad my back hurts.

“But how cool that you’re in Hawaii!” He tries to lift my spirits.

“Mmhmm,” I hum out, too tired to actually speak as my eyes drift shut again.

“Sorry to bother you. Go back to sleep. Our game is about to start, but I wanted to at least say good morning before we it did.”

“Morning,” I whisper out, not wanting to strain my voice any more than I absolutely have to.

I hear him chuckle as he says, “Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye, Hannah.”

I don’t even bother hitting the End button and just push my phone away from me and fall back asleep within seconds.

* * *

It’s been five months since I left Mason Creek, and I have not stopped traveling all over the United States once.

Keeping in touch with Matthew has been the hardest part of it all. As time goes by, it is just too painful to deal with. Life on the road is hard enough, but I miss him so much that it’s making me sick.

I knew I had to stop taking his calls and compartmentalize that part of my life if I was going to make it through. I think he’s getting the hint because it’s been five days since I heard from him last.

I feel like the biggest asshole around, but it was just getting too hard on me. I’ve learned quickly just how much this lifestyle is going to take, and I know I’m being very selfish, but that’s the only way I can get through my day-to-day.

Every time he called, I would just miss him more, and it was really starting to affect my performances. When our manager pulled me aside, saying it was showing too much, I knew I had to do something.

I had to make the clean break, only I was too chickenshit to do so—mainly because no part of me wanted to. Add in dealing with my mom, and I’m a fucking mess. I’ll be the first one to admit how wrong I am for being like this, but I truly feel like I don’t have a choice.

I know I need to put my personal life on complete hold if I want my singing career to take off. This is a sacrifice that I’m willing to make; it just sucks, having to actually do it.

I look around the hotel we just parked at, having no clue what town I’m even in.

We all step out of the van we’re traveling in, and I stretch my arms up to the sky, feeling every bit of the aches and pains from performing, then riding in a cramped seat all night.

My phone rings, and I look down to see it’s the facility my mom is staying at, so I answer as fast as I can. “Hello?”

“Hey, Hannah. It’s Jim from Five Acres. Your mom really wants to talk to you. Is now a good time?”

“Yes, please. Don’t feel like you ever can’t call. I’d love to talk to her whenever I can.”

A few seconds later, I hear my mom’s voice, only she’s speaking in the highest tone I’ve ever heard, sounding so elated when she says, “Oh my God, you’re alive. Oh, Hannah, I’ve been so worried. Gosh, you’re alive. You’re alive.” Her voice just gets higher and higher with every word.

“Hey, Mom. Of course I’m alive. I’m here in”—I look around to see the hotel has a sign under it that saysEagle, Idaho—“Idaho.”

“Oh, sweetie. God, this is just the best news ever.” I hear her cover the phone and yell to someone, “Be quiet. I’m talking to my daughter, who’s a month away.”

I question what she means bya month away, but she comes back to me, saying, “Oh, baby, I’ve been crying myself to sleep at night, thinking I lost you.”

I place my hand on my head and instantly start to break down.

“God, Linda, I’ve missed you so much.”

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