Page 16 of Scandalously Yours

Alessia

It’d been a long couple of days, but not ones I would change for anything. Kris and I had begun getting closer. At the hospital, he was the consummate professional and I was sure that no one suspected anything between us. Then, outside of work, we would talk for what seemed like hours. We hadn’t had sex again since that night in his office, but I knew it wasn’t for lack of trying. I was quickly becoming very attached to him, even though I kept reminding myself that this wouldn’t result in anything permanent. It couldn’t. Hell, we weren’t even able to go out on a date like a normal couple. We had just a few stolen moments in person, and many more at night as we talked, or video chatted.

“What would be your perfect date with me?” he’d asked me the night before when we were talking while in our own beds.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you would pick me up and whisk me off to someplace where we wouldn’t have to hide. I could dress up nicely for you, and you could wear a tux.” I had stopped after that as I remembered the sight of him in one back in the Bahamas.

“What would we do?” he’d asked me, and I’d rolled over onto my back.

“We would have a nice meal, and drink a little wine. I’d tell you how it makes me loose and you’d flash one of those panty-wetting grins. I—”

“Is that the only thing that makes you wet?” he’d interrupted, and I’d giggled.

“No, but we’re talking about my perfect date here, not yours. Now where was I? Oh, yes. We would dance in each other’s arms until we couldn’t stand the tension anymore. We’d go back to our room and you’d practically tear my clothes off in a haste. We’d then make love until the wee hours of the—”

“Make love?” And he’d chuckled. “You definitely deserve that, and more. You deserve everything you mentioned, and one day, I hope to give it to you.”

I had let out a sigh because it seemed like more of a pipe dream. I then grew quiet as our situation came into focus. Nothing I mentioned was too far fetched for a couple to do, but it seemed like a momentous feat for us. Kris was also quiet, which made me think that perhaps he was thinking about the same things I was. We were in an impossible situation. I didn’t know how the whole separation thing worked so he was essentially still a married man. That left a sour taste in my mouth, which he also must’ve known because he had responded.

“Things won’t always be this way between us. I will give you the world one night. And who knows? It might very well be the one you described tonight.”

And when he said it the way that he did, I believed him. There was a determination and vehemence in his tone, and I fell for it, and him—hook, line, and sinker. Now, I was taking a few days away to go back home, and I already missed him. Things had been such a whirlwind from the residency to the convention, and now settling into my career.

I needed to think less about Kris right now and focus on the fact that I was officially a doctor and would be returning home having fulfilled my lifelong dream. If that wasn’t a cause for celebration, I didn’t know what was. As my grandfather entered my mind, a sadness fell over me. As proud as I was to have become a doctor, I was no closer to helping him with that wretched disease. He might not even remember who I was, and the uncertainty was what killed me.

I hopped into the rental car I had booked for the trip and drove three and half hours south to Rhode Island. When the Providence skyline came into view from the highway, I felt excited. I loved the place where I was born and raised, and had it not been for the incredible opportunity to study and work in New York City, I might’ve come home and gotten a job at one of the hospitals there.

I had just passed the last of the downtown area when my cellphone rang. I saw the caller and smiled as I answered, “Hi, Mom. Where is everyone?”

I didn’t know whether I needed to go to the house where I grew up, or if everyone was gathered somewhere else. “We’re at your grandparents,” she told me, and I knew my drive would be a bit farther.

“I’ll be there in about a half hour,” I promised, then hung up. If everyone was gathered there, I just hoped that meant good news rather than bad when it came to my grandfather.

My mother and grandmother had such a close relationship, and I was often envious of the fact that I was always too busy to hang out all the time with them, too. Even back as far as middle school, I had focused on my books so I could get into the advanced placement classes I needed in high school. That foundation was what allowed me to get the scholarship money I had, even if after four years of school it had dried up. Not long after was when I had taken on the fool’s mission and decided to be a surrogate.

We all knew how that ended, and I wasn’t upset or unhappy for Anton and Elsa Kingston. From what I could see, the two were very doting parents and their son was living a wonderful life. I sometimes wondered if I would’ve done as Aiden had wanted, would I be living a great life, too? I shook my head as I realized it would mean having to give up my dream to instead clean house and cook. I wasn’t meant to be a stay-at-home mother. I was destined for great things as my grandfather used to tell me. I’m just growing impatient trying to figure out when I would actually get them.

My exit approached and I veered off on the ramp and followed the signs down to the first traffic light. From there, I drove about two miles to where my grandparents lived in their doublewide trailer. Well, it had been a double at one time, but with the addition my father and two uncles had done on it, some would call it a triple.

I pulled into the driveway and could see the cars belonging to the usual suspects. I got out and stretched my legs after that long drive. Then, I couldn’t help but look around. Unlike in Manhattan, there were trees for as far as the eye could see and privacy. It was exactly the type of privacy I one day hoped to find with Kris. I smiled at the mere thought of him. I knew my family would love him if it ever progressed to that state. Right now, our relationship was new and there were so many unknowns. I couldn’t rush things along too fast and end up losing him. He’d been the best thing to happen to me since... I wanted to say Aiden but remembering his ultimatum, I realized he hadn’t been good for me after all.

I walked around the back of the mobile home, and mostly everyone I knew was out there. I walked over and hugged my grandmother, then my mother and her two brothers, before my father engulfed me in one of his hugs.

“I’m proud of you, kiddo,” he told me, and I beamed with pride.

The family had already fired up the grill and the smell of mesquite wood filled the air. I was famished, having not stopped once to eat anything, so I was excited for whatever they were cooking. It was a monthly tradition in my family, and I knew how my absence affected them. Back when I first started college, one of my uncles had threatened to come get me if I missed another barbecue. I came to the next one, but I had to let them all know how important school was to me.

I loved my family but each time I visited, it got harder because the one I wanted to spend the most time with was here in body, but not spirit and mind. Watching him waste away was hard on me. He’d gone from over two hundred pounds to a gaunt hundred and twenty-five, and he was a mere shell of the man I remembered. As if my mother knew where my thoughts had gone, she smiled wearily at me.

“He’s inside, but I have to warn you that he’s very surly today.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I said, then walked onto the back porch before disappearing inside. “Grandpa,” I called out, but heard nothing in return. I could tell the television was on, so I followed the sound of it into the living room where he was sitting on the recliner. He looked up when I walked into the room, but there were no hugs or pieces of candy he’d pull out from behind my ear. This man was looking at me as if I was a stranger.

I tried to stop the tears in my eyes from falling, but that turned out to be futile. I quickly wiped away the two or three of them, then sat down on the couch that was nearby to him. I studied him closely as he stared off at the television. He was watching the nightly news, and he had no idea what they were talking about.

“How are you?” I finally asked him.

He didn’t say much of anything. In fact, all he did was mumble something under his breath as he ignored me. Before the Alzheimer’s, he had been my best friend. Now, he wouldn’t know me from the paperboy, mailwoman, or even the home health workers I had set him up with on a previous visit.

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