Page 55 of Unforgivable

“No! But this is her pet project at the moment! She asked me the same thing! I suspect she’s asking everyone!” I drop my fork on my plate, rub my face.

“She didn’t mention you at all, Laura. I really think it was a genuine question.”

“So what did you tell her?” I pour more water in our tumblers. Some of it sloshes over the rim and onto the table. I ignore it.

“That I hadn’t seen much of Jack at all lately, but when I had seen him, I thought he seemed reserved, yes, but he could have had a lot on his mind.”

“Exactly!” I say. “He’s been looking for work for a year now, he’s very stressed. Very stressed. We all are. So obviously, he’s not at his best. But that doesn’t mean he’s depressed. That’s just the kind of thing she’d say, to make me look bad.”

She tilts her head at me. “I thought you were warming to her?”

“I am. It’s just a slow burn,” I say.

She smiles. “So if she’s moving back, what does that mean for Charlie?”

“What do you mean?” I take a gulp of water

“Did she talk about custody arrangements? What her intentions are? Would she have Charlie half the time?”

I stop, the rim of my glass knocks against my teeth. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. In my mind she’d live in another house, in another suburb, preferably miles away, and maybe come and visit Charlie every second weekend.

Katie catches the shock on my face. “But that would be good, right? For Charlie’s sake?”

“Actually no,” I say, putting my glass back down. “Not shared custody, not like fifty-fifty. I do not think that would be good.”

“Why not?”

“Because she doesn’t even know her. She thinks that Charlie should be a little doll with curly hair and pink dresses and frilly socks. Charlie is nothing like that! That’s not what she’s like!”

I must have shouted because Katie is staring at me, a shocked look on her face. She puts her fork down and takes my hand.

“Sorry,” I mumble. “It’s just that I miss Charlie. I live in the same house, but I miss her because Bronwyn monopolizes her all the time. I’m never alone with her anymore.”

“Which indicates that she most likely will want to have Charlie half the time, if she’s back in town,” she says gently. “You have to be ready for that. And you of all people should agree it’s a good thing. You know how difficult it was for you to grow up without a mother. You’ve said this since the beginning that Charlie needs her mother.”

I did say that. Now I wish I hadn’t. The back of my eyes sting. I disengage my hand from hers and wipe the corners of my eyes with my napkin.

“It’s good, right?” Katie says. “It’s good that Bronwyn wants to get involved with Charlie.”

“You’ve asked me this five times now. If I say yes, you’ll let me go?” I snap. She gives a small chuckle. I sigh, nod, pretend to agree with her, but my mind is going off on its own ride. My head fills with images of Charlie in a tutu going to some eye-waveringly expensive ballet school, Charlie at a beauty pageant with little frilly white socks and a tiara on her head, would she have a bedroom at Bronwyn’s house? Of course she would. I can see it now, lots of pink cushions on a pink bedspread. I’m going to be sick.

“Of course it’s good.” I put my fork down. “I should go back to work.”

The atmosphere is strained between us as we leave our table, and I know it’s coming from me, but I can’t help it. I resent Katie for taking Bronwyn’s side,actually. I may be warming to her, but I’m not ready to surrender my perfect family over, even if it’s part-time. Katie keeps saying it’s fine, it’s good, it’s a good thing, so why do I feel like I’m losing my grip on them? Why do I feel like they’re both slipping away from me?

While we wait to pay at the counter, Katie puts an arm around my shoulders. “You know what you need? You need a hot date with Jack. You’ve got a free babysitter at home, you should take advantage of that. Why don’t you get yourself a new dress and book a nice restaurant?”

I nod, thawing.

“And why don’t you pick up Charlie from school this afternoon? Spend some time with her, just the two of you. I’m sure Bronwyn won’t mind.”

“I’m sure of no such thing.” I half laugh. “But yes, you’re right. I’ll do that. I’ll get her number off Jack later and give her a call, ask if it’s okay. No, I’ll just tell her, that’s what I’ll do. We had a good chat last night. You’re right. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“I’ve got her number,” Katie says, opening her bag.

I tilt my head at her. “You’re kidding.”

She pulls out her cell. “She gave it to me at Charlie’s party. She’s going to send me photos of the Alberici museum restoration project. It sounds amazing.”

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