Page 85 of Unforgivable

Charlie plays with her food, Bronwyn just smiles at me, as if there was more and she was waiting for it. I knock back the rest of my watered-down apple juice.

I want Jack to come home. I want to tell him about Jenny. I desperately wish he were here.

I want her out of my house.

After dinner, Charlie goes back to the living room and watches more TV—she’s allowed to wait for Daddy as a special treat. Bronwyn goes outside for a cigarette.

“You want one?” she asks at the door, holding up the packet. I glance at the clock on the wall as if it held the answer. It’s a quarter to eight. Assuming there’s no traffic, Jack will be home in just under two hours.

“I think I’ll clean up first,” I say. “Then I’ll join you.”

“Sure.”

I load up the dishwasher, because that’s what I would normally do and I feel that now, more than ever, I need to project normality. Only once everything is tidy and clean do I allow myself to go back to Jack’s office to get my phone.

But it’s not there. I thought I’d left it on the desk. I retrace my steps in my mind’s eye. I hung up the call when Bronwyn appeared, then I fiddled with shutting down the computer and we went back downstairs together. Only when I was in the kitchen did I realize I’d left it on Jack’s desk, but I didn’t want to arouse suspicion by getting it when we were about to sit down.

I check the top of the storage cabinet, the shelves, even inside the drawer where he keeps his files, but it’s not there.

Back in the kitchen I check everywhere, but I can’t see it, and I begin to feel uneasy. I go into the living room, Charlie is asleep on the couch. I point the remote at the TV. I had no idea she was so tired. I scan the coffee table, the couch. My phone isn’t anywhere to be found.

I look down at Charlie and smile. She is so still, so perfect. I caress her head. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you up to bed.”

She doesn’t stir.

I perch myself on the edge of the seat, lean down and kiss the side of her head. “Charlie, wake up. I’ll take you upstairs.”

Nothing.

I shake her shoulder gently. “Charlie? Honey? Stop playing, please. It’s not funny.” But panic is racing through me and I can’t breathe. I shake her fully. “Charlie? Honey, wake up! Wake up, Charlie! Charlie!” I can feel my face distort with panic, my heart exploding, my mouth opening and I’m screaming over and over and I can’t stop.

“Charlie!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Laura, will you shut up? You’re going to wake the dead!”

THIRTY-NINE

I lost my vision for a second and when it came back it was like a badly tuned TV channel. I’m on my knees; Bronwyn is towering over me. My cheek is burning where she’s slapped me.

“What have you done?” I wail, crawling to Charlie. I pat her face. “Oh God! What did you do to her?”

“Stop crying! Jesus, Laura, she’s only asleep. She’ll be right as rain in the morning.”

“Oh God.” I look at her. “She’s asleep?”

“I may have overdone it with the sleeping pills. They never give you the dosage for kids, that’s the problem.”

“Sleeping pills? What did you give her?”

“A couple of things. Can’t remember. Temazepam, for sure, and something else… Now what was it? Xanax maybe?”

I put my hand on Charlie’s forehead. “I thought…”

“You thought she was dead? God no. Laura, please. I’m not a monster.”

“We have to get her to the hospital. We have to call an ambulance.” I scramble to my feet to look for my phone, but my legs buckle and I stumble.

“Oopsies! Looks like you’re not doing so well yourself! I may have overdone it on the temazepam dosage, or is it the Rohypnol?”

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