Page 57 of Definitely Not Him

I flipped the channel to a game show mid-sentence, less than impressed with his latest act. He was sending me daily thirty-page text messages that said the exact opposite.

I had yet to finish any of them because curse words littered every other paragraph.

“Mr. Carrington?” An intern knocked on my door.

“Yes?”

“You said to grab you the moment I saw Miss March in one place for over ten minutes?”

“Yes,” I said. “Where is she?”

“She asked me to give this to you.” She stepped forward, handing me an envelope.

I waited for her to walk away so I could read it alone, but she continued staring at me.

“Is there something that I can help you with, Miss Harrison?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words fell from her lips. Pulling a phone from her pocket, she snapped my picture and rushed out of the office.

Unsealing the envelope, I read the first few lines and didn’t dare to read anything else.

Terms & Conditions for My Sperm Donor

1. Don’t bother me at work unless it’s WORK-related.

2. Submit a co-parenting plan that we can negotiate.

3. Sign the attached schedule of pre-birth events, confirming that you will NOT attend. (My two best friends are hosting a private baby shower for me. You may attend via video chat.)

She’s out of her fucking mind.

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