Page 22 of Ask Me To Stay

“You didn’t crash.” I rolled my eyes as I stepped up behind him. “I just wanna make tonight something that we won’t regret in the morning. You know, talk, maybe kiss a little more?” I wrapped my arms around his middle and kissed his back. “You need to put a shirt on though or I might decide to spill that drink on your pants.”

“You can’t say stuff like that if you don’t want me to jump you right now.” He turned to face me and slowly moved until my back was pressed against the counter. “Feel that?” His rubbed his hard on against my thigh. “He doesn’t understand why you don’t want to play. You can’t tease him about fantasies and then go back to kissing.”

“Who says it just has to be kissing?” I slid my hand down and squeezed. “We can do other stuff.” I batted my eyes. I don’t know what I was trying to say or do for that matter. I wanted him right then, but the idea of not making everything perfect was bothering me. David used to complain if I didn’t shower and ‘spruce up’ as he called it.

“What are you talking about?” He stepped back. “Have you done this before? I mean, I assume you have, but you’re acting like you’re not sure.” He held my hands in his. “Talk to me. What is this?”

“I want it to be perfect, ok. I’m not perfect.” I looked at the ground and my voice went from confident to a whisper. David telling me I wasn’t good enough and he had to find someone else was filling my head. “I’m not a virgin, by the way. That ship sailed years ago.” I laughed. I needed to lighten the moment.

“Ok, well it’s never going to be perfect. You plan for perfection, and you’ll never meet that expectation.” He reached back in the fridge for a beer. “Sorry, this is all I got.” He showed me the bottle.

“That’s fine.” I started wandering over to the couch. “Let’s just hang out and see what happens.”

I can do that, I think.” He looked down and I knew what he was thinking. I got him all wound up to watch TV and kiss. If he still wanted to be with me after tonight, then I’d be a fool to tell him no the next time.

---