Page 29 of Tainted Kitten

Now that we are no longer in the dark of the night, I’m finding it hard to look the guys in the eye. Shame is seeping in, ruling me at my show of vulnerability. I feel raw and exposed, knowing the guys have figured out the little girl in the video was me. How can they still care for me after knowing I was the star of that disgusting show? That little girl didn’t look like she was scared or that she was being forced. She looked like she loved it, and the sick thing is that she did. She thought that’s what daddies and daughters did together. She thought that’s how love was shown, and you want to know what the real fucked up part is? I still think it’s the only way you show someone you love them.

I sneak a glance at Garrett, my big brooder and the one who is determined to leave sex out of the equation. He wants to show me how things can be without getting naked, like as a friend. I want to believe there’s a possibility of a friendship like that, but the thing is, I see him as more than a friend, and I know he feels the same way.

My eyes lock on his, and I realise he’s been watching me this whole time, his icy-blue gaze filled with pain and pity. I hate to see both there. I like it when he gives me glimpses of his smile and the lighter side of him. He doesn’t offer those sides to many people, so knowing he sometimes shows it to me makes me feel special.

Dumb right?

As Simon and Marcus dust off the table tennis table, Garrett approaches me, where I linger by the door. With each step closer, my heart rate picks up. It’s bizarre to me that these guys affect me so much. I’m normally the over-confident life of the party chick, yet right now, I feel like a timid fucking mouse.

I need my mojo back.

I crane my neck back as the towering height of Garrett dwarfs me, and my breath seizes for a moment as he reaches up and cups my face with one of his large palms.

“You scared me.” His deep voice is low and raspy, filled with emotion I wasn’t expecting.

“Why?” I lean into his palm and close my eyes for a beat, enjoying the sear of his skin against mine.

“I thought you might takeyouaway from me… for good.”

I understand what he is getting at. I wish I could lie and tell him there wasn’t a chance that I even considered it, but he deserves my honesty.

“I thought about it,” I admit past the lump forming in my throat, which just gets bigger when I see Garrett’s eyes glass over.

“Rhys.” His nostrils flare as his other hand cups the other side of my face, trapping me in his hold in a loving way. A way I’m sure friends don’t do. “Don’t fucking leave me here in a world without you in it.”

Fuck. My heart slices open, and with it, tears begin to fall. I can’t remember ever crying this much.

“I… don’t want… to leave… you.” I sob, not able to contain my girly emotions.

“Promise me you will stay. Always.” He demands low, his chest rising and falling like he’s struggling to keep himself in check.

“I promise.” I give him the words he wants, knowing too well that promises are often broken. Even so, I mean them in this moment.

“I want you to remember this phrase, Rhys.” His eyes pierce mine like he’s looking into my soul. “This too shall pass.”

My breath hitches as I let his words sink in.

“Good or bad. Nothing lasts. You have to make the most of the good moments before they pass by. And you can be assured that the bad will pass by too. You just have to keep fighting. Promise you will always keep fighting.”

I nod as he leans forward, pressing his forehead against mine, looking at me past the fan of his dark lashes.

“Repeat the phrase to me.” His gaze burns into mine. “This too shall pass.”

“This… too shall… pass.” My breathing shudders as raw emotion grips me.

“Again. This too shall pass.” He demands, so I suck in some air, hoping my lungs will work properly.

“This too shall pass.” It’s a loud whisper, but this time, it’s confident as I repeat the words to him.

Garrett sighs, his shoulders relaxing as he lifts his head away from mine. We are so close. Close enough to kiss, yet he doesn’t even try. I guess the current situation doesn’t really scream romantic or sensual, but even so, the scent of Garrett mingled with Shaun’s hoodie he’s wearing wraps around me, and my mind instantly wishes I was naked and in a Shaun and Garrett sandwich right now.

Of course, as a big Fuck You, Kitty starts to rouse, but pain shoots through my core and images of Master Hill’s face, smug with satisfaction as he looms over me, sends ice through my veins.

“What’s wrong?” Garrett frowns, noticing me stiffen.

“I-I…” Shit. I can’t tell him. I shake my head and try to pull away as my heart races for the wrong reason.

“Kitten?” Shaun asks, stepping up beside us and my frantic eyes dart to him for help, even though he has no idea what’s going on in my head. “Talk to us.”

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