Page 27 of Convergence

Me: I have not slept with him. Why would it be so bad?

Daisy: Did you make out with him?

Me: I’m not sure why you’re so upset. I would love to understand what is wrong so that maybe I can fix it.

Daisy: Ugh only bad friends sleep with guys their friends like.

Me: Wait, you’re with Everett though.

I sat up in my bed, tears streaming now.

Daisy: Stop, you’re being a bitch.

What? I read back over everything I said to her and tried to see how she was taking it as me being a bitch to her. I couldn’t find the fault in anything I’d said.

Me: I think we should maybe talk in person. We may be misunderstanding each other.

Daisy: You? Talk?Laughing face emoji

I gasped as I read that. It was like being in high school again. I was way past this level of meanness from girls I was trying to be friends with. It was so mean and so childish my tears stopped. I wasn’t sad or worried about my friendship with Daisy anymore, in fact I felt sad for her for feeling like insulting my anxiety around talking was a valid point in an argument.

Nate needed to hear about this, it was so wild. My clean hair was up in a tight bun and a long shirt from my undergrad school covered my cotton shorts. I quietly walked down to his room. I knocked softly, not wanting to wake up Everett.

“Come in,” Nate replied.

I opened the door and stepped into his room. It was decorated the same as mine in white and oak furniture. His clothes were strewn everywhere on the floor and the overwhelming scent of him enveloped me as I shut the door behind me. His leather and pine soap scent was comforting as I looked at him lounging on his bed. He was on his belly on the bed, only wearing his navy boxer briefs and was looking at his phone.

“What’s up?” he asked, noting the tears still on my face.

“Daisy was texting me and I don’t understand,” I explained in a whisper and held out my phone to him.

Something flickered over his face as he sat up and took my phone from me. I didn’t know what his expression meant; it had happened so fast. “Let’s look,” he said and scrolled back to the beginning of tonight’s conversation.

He read it while I perched on the edge of his bed. The only guy’s room I had ever been in was Caleb’s. A few dorm rooms of study partners in college, but not a guy I had made out with an hour before. The only sound was the quiet tinkling of snow hitting the window outside and the occasional howl of wind. We were supposed to get a steady layering of snow tonight. I felt chilled thinking about the weather and looked at Nate’s bed.

His bedspread was black cotton and his sheets looked like they were also black or a dark navy. Only the bedside light was on, like he had been scrolling on his phone before going to bed for the night. His phone was attached to his charger and laying on his pillow now, and I saw he had a few unread text notifications pop up. I didn’t look to see who they were from.

The ticket stubs from the concert we had gone to were on his nightstand and I felt a soft affection over the fact he had kept them. After lab today I had thrown in a load of laundry but had not thrown in the black t-shirt I had borrowed for the concert. I had kept it, smelling of him, under my pillow. If he asked for it, I would pretend to find it and offer to wash it. But for now, it was mine.

“What a fucking bitch,” Nate snarled as he handed back my phone. “Why would she make fun of you like that? That’s a fucking garbage thing to do.”

I was quiet for a moment and looked down at my dark phone. I felt my lower lip tremble and I bit it.

“Hey,” he said softly, sliding toward me on the bed. He reached up and thumbed my lip. I let it go. “Talk to me.”

I shook my head, feeling anxious about telling Nate that I had been feeling worried about losing a friend and now she had insulted me, and I didn’t know how to feel.

“Would it help if I said I didn’t have any interest in Daisy? She keeps sending me these pictures. And at first, they were pretty hot, and I didn’t exactly discourage them. But when she started hooking up with Ev, it was weird. Like… he’s my friend and his girlfriend is sending me nudes. I asked her to stop one time when she was over here, and she just giggled.” Nate reached over to unhook his phone from the charger and opened up his messages. “I’ve always deleted them. I mean, that shit is what Snapchat is for. But she sent this one to me tonight, maybe five minutes ago.”

He showed me his phone and sure enough; it was Daisy, in her bed with her white sheet up to her boobs but showing them seductively. Her eyes were hooded, and her tongue was curled up over her top lip like a cartoon character seeing a slice of cake, but in a porn star way. My stomach soured. I felt sad for Everett and mad for Nate and grossed out all at the same time.

I shot to my feet in an almost blinding wave of emotion. I paced his room, stomping on his clothes littered all over the floor. As I spoke, I felt hotter and hotter despite the chill of the house, my hands clenching and unclenching. “Does she think she can have you both?! She seduced Everett right away. Like day one, as soon as he walked into the room, she zeroed in on him like ‘Yummy, yummy cowboy.’ And then all the group texts and the flirty comments. She was kind of flirty with me too, but I guess maybe I friend-zoned her? Then she’s sending you nudes even after you said not to. And she tells me she wants you too? You guys are mine, and she can’t have you. It’s- ugh, it’s so unfair because I thought finally, finally, I had a female friend. Someone to talk to about girl stuff and go shopping and do make up. But no. She has to go and insult my anxiety and steal my guys! I mean… guy.”

Nate had leaned back on the bed on his elbows and watched me pace and rant with a smirk on his face. When I turned to him, panting, he raised his eyebrows at me. “You done?”

I took a deep breath and considered. “Yes.”

“There’s a lot to unpack in that monologue for a man stealing bitch who doesn’t talk,” Nate teased, his eyes warm and focused on me.

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