Page 30 of Blood Magic (Ariel Kimber 3)

Would I never learn? I needed to learn. And quick.

“What’s wrong?” Addison asked, and I jumped.

I let out an unattractive squeak as my eyes flew open.

Addison sat up straight on my wicker loveseat. The stack of blankets and pillows had been moved to the floor beside the loveseat. Julian sat on the rug beside the bed with his back pressed into the frame and mattress. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his chin rested atop one of them. He had a look in his eyes that had me worried for him. He looked like a lost little boy. Someone had recently run over his puppy; his whole world had crumbled down to ash and rubble around him and he had no idea where to go from there.

What exactly had I been witness to down in that living room? I knew it had been serious, people don’t go around punching each other for no particular reason. Even less so when you’re family. And they were all family.

“Ariel,” Addison called my name.

I had to force myself to look away from Julian and in Addison’s direction.

“What’s wrong?” he repeated.

What was wrong, he had asked? Was he being serious right now? The list was endless. It went on and on and on. A brand-new thing got added to the list every single day. I didn’t mind rolling with the punches and I was used to it. But everyone had their breaking point and I feared mine was fast approaching.

I shook my head in answer. It was the only one he was going to get. If I opened my mouth and tried to explain all that was wrong in my world at the moment I would probably end up crying. I didn’t want to cry, not while I was trying to be a stronger, braver person.

I looked to Julian and quietly demanded, “What was that down stairs? Why would you attack Tyson like that? Yeah, he was being a jerk and he’d been needling you with his words, trying to push you. But that didn’t warrant your over the top reaction. I honestly don’t knowwhat wouldwarrant that kind of violent reaction.”

I rested my shoulders back against the door and the poster crinkled when my shoulders met with it. I folded my arms across my stomach and settled in, ready to wait for as long as I had to in order to get the answers I wanted. I would wait all day if it meant I got what I wanted; answers and a sense of understanding.

“Sometimes Tyson hates me,” Julian grumbled miserably. “He’s really good at hiding it, but I imagine with you being here and me spending time with you, it’s going to come out more and more.”

He stopped speaking so he could laugh humorlessly. When his shoulders stopped shaking, he shook his head with a small smile on his face.

“It’ll be worse for Damien now too,” he said. “Sometimes he hates us both, but it’s always me more so than Damien.”

I frowned at him, not getting where he was going with this.

“I don’t understand,” I said honestly.

Julian let out a big puff of breath causing his chest to deflate right in front of me. He looked utterly defeated and it made me sad to see it on him.

“Ty wanted Annabell for himself,” Julian mumbled. “I didn’t understand it and I paid no mind to what he wanted. We all grew up the same way, and she was just like us. She had magic and I honestly couldn’t seem to help myself where she was concerned. She gave off this… allure, a special light.” He glanced up at me from under long, honey colored lashes and he looked embarrassed. But that didn’t stop him from speaking. “You girls give off your own heat, you know? It’s the biggest temptation I had ever known. I couldn’t resist her. She knew it and she used my own weakness against me, to lure me in. I went willingly, and Damien came along right behind me.”

He swallowed thickly and looked down to the hands he now had gripped together on his knees.

“We weren’t raised around girls like us,” he said. “She was the first one I had ever met before. It didn’t seem fair to me that she wanted to be here and with our coven and Tyson wanted to keep her all for himself. We lie and say we never dreamed of having our own girl because we know the chances of that happening are basically non-existent. But it’s a damn lie. We all want one. It’s our deepest, darkest desire. Even if most of us will never admit it out loud because to say it out loud brings the dream to life and it hurts more when you don’t get what you want. Not everyone is strong enough to handle that crushing blow.”

I had to fight hard to keep my lip from curling up in disgust. I loved that he was sharing, truly, I did. But I didn’t like being lumped into a group of women who I had never met before and were looked at as desirable objects.

It stunk too much like Vivian.

I wasn’t anything like Vivian and I never would be.

“When Tyson tried to be selfish and told me he wanted me to stay away from her, I didn’t take that very well. She moved right in, getting close with as many of us as she could. I tried to hold myself back for Tyson’s sake, I tried, and I failed. Admittedly, I hadn’t put up much of a fight. She kept coming and coming. Damien and I both went down to her charms. I had never touched another female before her. I was saving it, saving myself, in hopes that we would find one with magic and she would want to join us, want to be with us. It was the only thing I ever really wanted. My mother was a witch and she spent her life happy and loved. I grew up thinking she was the most beautiful, precious soul in this world. She died in child birth and I had her and all that beauty and love ripped out of my life. I lost it. When it was gone, I knew I would never get that back in my life.”

I let my back slide down the wall until my butt hit the cool wooden floor. I didn’t want to sit on the bed with my box half full of messed-up letters that I couldn’t bring myself to read. The loveseat looked too small with Addison’s big body taking up half of it. It looked a little too inviting for me to sit in at the moment. I didn’t want to get cozy with Addison while Julian bared his soul for me to see.

The only thing was, I no longer wanted to see the innerworkings of Julian’s soul. I didn’t want to sit over there on the floor beside him when I felt responsible for this pain. Because of me, he’d brought it to the surface for me to see.

I seemed to cause everyone around me pain.

I didn’t mean to cause them unnecessary pain. I didn’t want to cause them any amount of pain whether it be large or small.

“The joke was on me though, wasn’t it?” Julian spat out angrily. “She turned out to be a horrible person who was only using me because I’m rich and apparently so desperate for a female witch that she thought she could use me and make me her pet. Now, I’m paying for that mistake. Tyson still hates me, he’ll probably always hate me, and I’ve only got myself to blame for it. Because, in the end, it had been me who’d been selfish, not Tyson. And I wish I had never gotten anywhere near her.”

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