Page 59 of Steal a King (Five Kings 2)

Ella

Idon’t recognize myself anymore. This place, it’s so dark I should run screaming from the room. But it’s Lucas. It suits him and makes me understand him a little more. I suppose I’ve always known he was a dominant. I see many indications of that, but then there’s the other side to him I love the most. The emotional, vulnerable side that he struggles to hide. I expect he needs this in his life to reign that in and keep him grounded. I wasn’t kidding when I said I want more but I know he’s in no position to give me that, so while I’m here, I’m keen to experience the whole Lucas Emiliano experience package and I’m not lying, I’m looking forward to that.

My heart thumps as I keep my eyes lowered and I can feel the tension in the room. I’m aware that he removes his clothes and I feel my desire coating me below. I am so turned on right now because it’s the unknown. What will he do? I trust him enough to know I’m safe, which adds to the fantasy.

He growls low in his throat. “In this room you are my slave and obey everything I say. Our language is classic traffic lights. Red for stop, amber for unsure, and green for go. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” I can’t even believe I’m going to do this and he says ominously, “We will start off slow, test your limits.”

I say nothing and wonder if this is such a good idea. It could change everything and may ruin what we have already. His voice cuts through the fog in my brain as he says firmly. “Go to the bench and lie face down. Prepare to be restrained.”

I can’t even look at him as I head to the bench and do as he says, before lowering myself face down onto the padded fabric that feels strangely comforting. Without a word, he binds my wrists and ankles until I am lying spreadeagled out and I hear him remove something from the wall.

“This may hurt, but it will only be for a second. Do you accept that?”

“Yes, sir.” I think I hold my breath as I wait for something to hit my skin and know it’s going to hurt, why wouldn’t it and as I feel the sting of leather against my bare ass, I bite my lip. Another follows it and yet it’s not unpleasant and as my body adjusts, I feel strangely liberated.

The fact I’m being restrained doesn’t concern me. I trust Lucas, I know this is purely for pleasure and I’m keen to experience that. As I feel his soft kiss on my bare ass, I shiver a little and I prepare myself for more. The blows get more frequent. Harder and still, I say nothing. No sound at all as I test how far I can go with this. Part of me wants it to hurt, to feel the bite and allow my body to release those chemicals inside me that make everything go away. For so long I have had total control over my life except where it concerned my family’s health. I was drowning in my inability to help make it all go away and so fearful of being alone. Now they are on the road to recovery and in a safe place, the relief has been hard to deal with. I have lived with pain and desperation for so long, I love the release this is giving me. It’s as if the pain is being released into the atmosphere, and so I cry out as the tears of relief flow down my cheeks as Lucas strikes me harder each time.

I hear the concern in his voice as he says firmly, “Remember the code word, I can stop.”

“Green, sir.”

I am unwavering in my response because now he’s started, I couldn’t possibly tell him to stop. With every blow, each one harder than the last, it helps heal a pain I never knew was inside me. It’s so good to feel actual pain, rather than the emotional baggage I have been carrying around for some time now. I never knew how pent up the emotion was, the worry about mom, Hannah, and her brush with death. The fact I have no one to turn to, nobody to ask for help. The burden of caring for them firmly at my door.

Finally, I am lying here, exposed and confined, and there is nowhere to go but face my emotions. The tears are running down my face like a dam that broke its bank and I have no way of brushing them away. No way of pretending everything is ok and no way of controlling the emotion inside me and I need this pain to make sense of the past few years which have been building to this point.

Suddenly, Lucas stops and I feel the bonds loosen and he pulls me hard against him. He cradles me like a baby as I sob in his arms and he holds my head to his chest, murmuring soft words of love. I cry in his arms like I have never cried before and don’t even register how sore my ass feels. I am so grateful to him for punishing my demons from inside me, the relief is overwhelming as I lay spent in his arms, as he rocks me gently like he would a baby.

After a long time has passed, he whispers softly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I feel like a child being consoled by an adult and far from feeling weird, it just feels normal to me.

I nod and whisper, “Thank you. I know you probably think I’m some kind of crazy mixed-up lunatic, but that was so…”

He laughs softly, “Purging?”

I nod and he says in a low voice, “I get it, Ella. Not many do, but I’m one of the lucky ones.”

“In what way?”

He sighs and grips me a little tighter.

“I use sex to release my demons. The pent-up frustration, the pain inside me and the emotions I just can’t deal with. This is their release and without it I would go mad.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I laugh softly and he strokes my hair and says to my surprise, “If you’ll listen, maybe it would help.”

Shifting a little, I look into his eyes and see a huge amount of pain mirrored back at me. This time I reach up and stroke his face, and for a moment we understand one another perfectly. We are two sides of the same coin. Emotionally wanting and fucked up by life and fate. I wonder what is so bad he needs this to ground him, and I can tell it’s not going to make an easy conversation.

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