Page 28 of Catch a King (Five Kings 1)

“What did you say?”

She looks at me with astonishment and I laugh softly. “I’m claiming you, Millie.”

I hold her face in both hands and look deep into her eyes. “I want all of you, your mind, your body and your soul. I want that smile to be directed at me because of the happiness I give you. I want that heart beating with love for me and not for a past that ended in tragedy. I want to hear you callmyname when you sleep and when I claim your body with mine, I want to hear you screammyname. I want to be your world, Millie, and until you let me in, that can’t happen. So, because I’m an impatient man, I want you to bare your soul to me before I take your body and love you like you’ve never been loved before.”

I watch her break apart before my eyes. My words hit home and scored a direct hit and I know she burns to hear those words. The look in her eye and the layers that peel away as she realizes she’s not on her own anymore and if there was ever a time I knew the moment I fell in love with Millie Raymond, it’s this one. I am filled with such overwhelming feelings I am knocked senseless. If she turns out to be the woman who pulled the trigger on Billy, I’m sure I could even forgive her that. Two lost souls meeting at last and promising a different future from the one we both accepted was ours.

“I’ll tell you.”

She whispers the words I need to hear so badly right now, and as I lead her over to the bed, I hope those words won’t destroyusbeforeweeven begin.

Chapter 23

Millie

Ifeel like a cornered animal. I’m at my lowest point since coming here, and I’m not sure if this is a trap. I don’t want it to be. In fact, the look in Sawyer’s eyes, the soft yet firm tone to his voice and those words. Those words hit me right where it matters. Nobody wantsme, they want what I can give them, but notme. Sure, I’ve told my story to the Reapers, and they helped build me back stronger, but that’s what they do—for anyone. But Sawyer, he wants to build me back up to be with him.

I claim you.

I feel a shiver run through me as I see him watching; waiting for my story to begin and I suppose it’s because I feel so low and worthless, I open my mouth and the whole sorry tale comes tumbling out.

“You know the first part, the accident, the subsequent hospital stay and the pain of losing someone you love.”

I take his hand and love the way it curls around mine. Yes, Sawyer knows what it’s like to lose someone you love, both of his parents, to name two of them.

“I had my mom at least, she was always there for me and when my father left, it was just us. I had a happy childhood because she made it her mission to make it that way. She was my rock and my best friend and still was, even when she met Luke, her boyfriend who soon became her new husband - my stepfather. At the beginning, I loved him too. He was fun to be around and a father figure that was sorely lacking in my life. I suppose I was 17 when he moved his son in, Craven.”

I stare up into Sawyer’s dark, brooding eyes and smile tightly. “I think you can guess where this story leads, but it’s worse.”

He nods and I see a pulse twitching in his cheek and know he’s holding it in. He grips my hand tighter, which gives me the courage to reveal the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me.

“At first Craven kept his distance. He was a year older than me and popular. He ran with a wild crowd, although my mom and Luke never saw that. In their eyes he was the perfect son and stepson; the perfect stepbrother and they couldn’t believe their luck in having two amazing kids to complete their family. It happened gradually, and I began to notice mom was sicker more days than she felt fine. Luke wore a haunted look, and it didn’t make me a detective to know something was wrong.”

My eyes fill with tears as I think back on that time and I’m grateful for the light kiss Sawyer drops to my head and whispers, “Take your time, darlin’.”

“Turns out she had cancer.” I sniff and reach for a tissue. “It was so quick I didn’t have time for it to sink in before she was gone, leaving me with the two of them.”

Just thinking about the two men who ruined my life, makes the steel edge creep into my voice. “Luke changed. Maybe it was grief, but I doubt it. He started looking at me differently and I was uncomfortable around him. Craven was spending more time at home and they watched my every move. I felt as if something was building and I was right. I suppose it was only six months after my mom’s passing, they acted.” I break off because saying the words out loud brings me more shame than anger. I can’t live with what happened, and I don’t want to see the disgust in Sawyer’s eyes when he sees how weak I was.

“Darlin’, look at me.”

He lifts my face to his and the intensity that burns in his eyes takes my breath away. “Whatever they did was not your fault. Not. Your. Fault.”

He nods with every word and I blink back the tears.

“They raped me, Sawyer. Every night they took it in turns and stole my innocence. I couldn’t tell anyone because I had nobody, no place to go and so I just shut down. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. I allowed them to use me all the time I had nowhere to go. Then one night, I couldn’t take anymore. I heard them laughing about passing me around their friends. They discussed ways to make money out of me and I panicked.”

I almost dare not look at Sawyer because the air inside the room is so tense right now and I feel so ashamed my voice drops to barely a whisper. “I was weak and gullible, and they told me so many times how worthless I was. They would stare into my eyes as they slid inside and tell me over and over again that I was worthless. I began to hear those words more than any other because it seemed they were the only words they ever directed at me. ‘She’s not worth it, you’re not worth it, you’re worthless.’ When you hear those words enough times, you start to believe them yourself.”

I break off and stare down at my hands, feeling the pain cut me open inside. Shaking my head, I say sadly, “As it happens, they were right. I’ve never been worth it. I ran away and the first person I met in the bar was a biker.”

Sawyer growls low in his throat, and yet I smile. “Jet saved me, Sawyer. He must have seen something that made him look twice, and not for the reason you think. He was so kind and took time to talk and buy me a meal when I was at the lowest point in my life and his kindness meant the world to me. I know what you’re thinking, that he had an ulterior motive, but he didn’t. He only wanted what was best for me and he saved me.Theysaved me.”

I look down and Sawyer says softly. “The Twisted Reapers.”

With a start, I pull back and he holds me where I sit and says firmly, “I know who you are, Millie, not at first, but Axel and Slade filled me in the morning after the auction.”

“They did.”

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