Page 26 of North (The Moral Compass 2)

“Okay, okay, you’ve sussed me. I’m in London. I’m just heading for the tube. But before you start, Sut, I only came across to sign some statements and documents with the lawyers. I have to be back tonight.”

“Why didn’t you say you were coming? I spoke to you only yesterday.”

“Because I knew you would want to get together. If I see you now, Sutton, I probably won’t get on the train back. And from what I saw today, apart from you, there is not much left for me here, anyway.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Kara? What exactly did you see?”

“It doesn’t matter. I know that I need to move on now, Sutton. North has.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Sutton snaps harshly.

“I’m not, and don’t talk to me like that, Sutton. I’m not the one snuggled up in The Hideaway with a frickin’ blonde. Anyway, I need to go before I miss my train. I’ll ring you when I get back. Love you, Sut.” I click the button and end the call. Guilt overtakes me, but I have to move on.

I need to get across town via the tube to get to St. Pancras International. It’s the only station where you can catch the Eurostar direct to Paris. I need to get this train, or I will be stuck here overnight.

Memories of me leaving last time hit me hard, and my eyes fill with tears as I realise I have brought all this on myself.

If I’d stayed and talked with him, he would be with me right now and not someone else. Is he holding her hand like he used to hold mine? Does he wash her hair in the shower? Does she make him boom-laugh till his sides hurt? Does he love her?

Fuck, I can’t deal with this. I need to get out of here now. A picture reel rolls through my head of the months we spent together as friends and lovers. Tears stream down my face, and it’s really difficult to see where I’m going. What I do notice is everyone looking at me like I’m doing something wrong.

I reach the Eurostar with half an hour to spare before the boarding gate opens. I suddenly remember I still haven’t had that coffee I was going for before. I stand on the platform and look around at all the different outlets. I spot the familiar Starbucks logo and head across the concourse. I get the eerie feeling I’m being watched or followed. I stop and take a real good look around. Everyone else is moving, and no one seems to be out of place.

Dreaming, Kara. Dreaming.

Chapter 21

North

“Hey,Sutton,haveyouheard from Kara?”

“I spoke with her yesterday. Why? I thought you weren’t going to ask me questions anymore.”

“Hmm, well. I’ve just seen her. Here in London. I know it was her. She was walking past The Hideaway.”

“Are you bloody serious? She is here and has not told me? I don’t understand. She never said a word yesterday. She did say she was dreading coming back for the trial. I’m going to wring her bloody neck if she is here and not said. Why would she do that to me, North? That’s just a shitty thing to do.” I can hear the hurt in Sutton’s voice, but she can’t feel as hurt as I do.

“Honestly, Sutton, I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her for over a month. I’ve no idea what is going on in her head or what she’s up to either.” It pains me to be so honest, and I feel like a complete fool. Did she ever really love me? Did I even have her heart? She is so far out of reach right now.

Sutton fumes. “Right! I’m calling her, and I am getting some bloody answers. This is just totally fricking stupid. As soon as I speak to her, I’ll call you back. Okay? I want to know what the hell she is playing at.”

I walk the streets around the office, hoping to get a glimpse of her. I’ve stopped three women who look like her and have nearly been slapped in the face twice. I’m acting like a madman, but if this is truly, truly over, and she has moved on and is not coming back, I need to know.

She’s had her time, and I’ve left her alone at her request, but enough is enough. Your time is up, Kara. I’m coming for you, whether you like it or fucking not. My days have been so empty, and the nights have been even longer. You are in big trouble when I get my hands on you, Kara.

Two hours have passed, and I’m knackered and sweaty from roaming the streets when my phone rings.

It’s Sutton. “I know where she is.”

***

I stand at the boarding gate for the Eurostar. There is no way on earth she is getting back on that train before I have said my piece.

I’ve bought some dodgy-looking sunglasses and a bowler hat from one of the street vendors outside the station. I look like a complete dick, a bad version of a Blues Brother, but if she recognises me, she might bolt.

A few women walk past and look. A hen party walks over and starts asking why I’m dressed like a gangster gone wrong. I can’t help but laugh. They are giving me a good cover. I intuitively know that Kara is close. The hairs on my arms stand, and I turn and meet her eyes. She can’t see mine through the black glasses. I dip my head so she can’t see the rest of my face. I can just make out her looking over at the commotion the hen party is causing. She just shakes her head and walks towards the gate. She doesn’t have any luggage, so she had no intentions of staying.

Time to make your move, North.

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