Page 33 of Heads You Lose (Grim & Beast Duet 2)

So I’m going to be, right the fuck now.

You scare the fuck out of me. Not because you’re a badass (you are) but because I never do feelings and all that shit. I don’t open myself up to pain or heartache. I fuck and I walk, and I was happy with my lot in life.

Only denying my feelings for you made me un-fucking-happy.

So I’m gonna say again what you already know in your heart.

I love you.

I LOVE YOU.

There hasn’t been a day since I left that I stopped loving you, and whether you choose to believe me or not, I’ve not been with anyone since I kissed you that night in my tattoo shop.

I don’t want anyone else. I want you.

And I will remain celibate for the rest of my fucking days if I can’t have you, blue balls or not, because no one will ever come close to how I feel about you.

No one.

You don’t have to love me back.

You don’t have to even like me. I just need you to know.

There isn’t anyone else for me.

You’re it.

You’re the one.

If you want me to back the fuck off, I will.

If you want me to prove my words with actions, I’ll do that too.

If you want me to leave and never come back, I’ll go, but not because I don’t love you, but because I do.

Tell me what you need and I’ll do it.

I’ll do anything, including finding an army worthy of you.

See, I have a confession to make: those men and women who walked into Tales and became your soldiers, I found them, I sent them. It took me two years to do it, but I was determined. That’s why I was away for so long. Not because I didn’t want to fight for you, or because I was fucking terrified you wouldn’t want to see me (okay, maybe a little, ffs) I did it to protect you, Kate, so that even if you don’t accept me back into your life, I will live a little easier knowing no harm will come to the only woman who makes my dick hard, my heart beat, and my soul at peace.

Forever yours,

Beast

I stareat Beast’s letter, his words blurring as tears form in my eyes and love swells in my heart. He didn’t abandon me. He was sourcing the best mercenaries in the world and sending them to me. Fuck! I should never have doubted him.

Guilt swirls inside my chest, and Ihatemyself for thinking so poorly of him, for not seeing the bigger picture. It’s not an excuse, but when you grow up in the environment I have, it’s hard to see the good in people when all you’re exposed to is the bad. I was blinkered, blinded by a disappointment that was unfounded.

I was a fool.

For the first timeever, I let the tears fall.

Not because I’m weak.

Not because I’m a bleeding heart.

Not because I’m an emotionalwoman.

But because I’m relieved, and I’mscared.

Loving someone should be the best thing to happen to any person, but loving Beast is dangerous. For us both.

I know that all too well.

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