Page 67 of The Masks and the Dancer (Their Obsession 2)

“But, I’m not so sure now. Whatever it once did for him, it doesn’t anymore. He came back this time worse, not better. It’s one of the reasons why I asked if he was okay. Then tonight...”

“Tonight?” I question, my throat drying.

“Thirteen was talking with Seven, trying to convince him to take a sleeping pill. I’d gotten out of bed wanting to look at anything other than these four walls and I saw Jakub outside on the grounds, bare chested and covered in bloody lashes, stumbling around and cursing the sky. I couldn’t bring myself to look away. He was in agony, Christy. I know he saw me.”

“What happened?”

She drags in a breath then blows it out. “He lifted his fist over his heart and bashed it against his chest. It was like he was apologising. Jakub never says sorry. Never. Half a minute later, One came outside to get him. They argued, and he tried to walk away but she grabbed his wrist and dragged him inside...” Her voice trails off as she swallows hard. “In that moment, I didn’t see the man who was cruel to us, Christy, I saw a defeatedboy.”

My eyes widen, but I can’t bring myself to say anything. I bothwanthim to hurt, and feel sick at the thought. I swallow hard, holding onto the hate I feel for him with a tight, vicious grip. I fucking claw at it, pushing away everything else.

“Whatever One did to him, it’s no more than he deserves,” I say angrily.

She frowns, looking at me but not really registering my presence in that moment. “You don’t understand. There are five rules we live by here at Ardelby Castle and we’reallaware of them. But there’s also a sixth rule that none of the Numbers say out loud but understand wemustfollow. I broke that rule last night.”

“Who’s rule?”

“The Collector’s. It was his only one, and we were forbidden to share it with The Masks.”

“What was his rule?” I ask, feeling a shiver track down my spine.

“To never show The Masks kindness or empathy.Never.”

“And what would happen if you did?” I ask, feeling sick to my stomach.

“The Collector would kill us and torture them.”

“Jesus. He was sotwisted.”

Three nods, her fingers curling into my forearms, her expression serious. “He was. The Collector was the devil incarnate. The Masks were shaped by him...” She sighs, fighting some internal battle that I recognise only too well.

“Don’t!” I shake my head. “Don’t make excuses for Jakub, for any of them,” I add, reminding myself not to do the same, and clutching hold of that hate as tightly as I can.

“I’m not making excuses. I despise Jakub for what he did to Seven and me.” She swipes at her eyes, brushing away more tears. “But I’ve lived in this castle for the best part of my adult life. I’ve witnessed many things, seen how they’ve suffered at The Collector’s hands. When he died, we all breathed a sigh of relief. Even them, though I doubt they recognised that in themselves. It was like a weight had been lifted.”

“What are you saying exactly?” I ask. “Because right now I don’t want to hear that they’re victims, too.”

She gives me a sad smile. “Aren’t they though?”

“By that same line of thinking, wasn’t The Collector a victim of his father, like his father before him, and his father before him? We’reallvictims in one way or another, but how we choose to act in the face of violence and cruelty defines who we are as an individual… That’s what counts.”

My voice trails off as I realise what I’ve just said, and how much of a hypocrite I am because my intentions are no less violent towards The Masks. Does that make me the same as them, as their father? Am I just as evil for wanting revenge, for wanting to hurt them?

No. I tell myself. It doesn’t, because after I’ve killed them this will all be over. I will go back home and work the rest of my life caring for people at the end of their lives. I won’t perpetuate that violence over and over again like they have. The future me who cuts their skin with a poisoned blade will cease to exist the moment they die. This anger and rage I feel will end with their deaths. That’s the difference between me and The Masks, with their forefathers. I won’t carry it with me and infect the lives of others.

“A long time ago, I accepted my life here at Ardelby Castle. I accepted the rules and I lived by them. We all did. Believe it or not, I found a home here. But…”

“But?”

“When The Collector died things began to change. The Masks, they…”

“They what?”

“They became obsessed with seeking revenge for their father’s death. It consumed them, but that obsession shifted when you arrived. I’ve seen the way they look at you. We all have.Youaffect them.”

“I’m sorry you had to bear the brunt of that,” I say, guilt slithering into my veins like a snake through grass.

“No,” Three says, shaking her head. “That isn’t what I meant.”

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